I took The Eldest and The Youngest out for dinner the other night.  Willie was out of town on business so we treated ourselves.  I noticed a young married couple was seated beside us.  When I say young, I mean probably in their late twenties.  Which really shows how old I am if I consider that young, doesn’t it.  Whatever.  Pay attention to the story . . .

Throughout the meal my boys were amusing themselves by playing tic-tac-toe with crayons on the paper tablecloth and doing the word search on the back of the kid’s menu while we chit-chatted about our day.  Good times.  Good times.

But being the Nosey Parker that I am, of course, I stole a few glances at our neighbors from time to time.  Remembering what it was like when Willie and I were young and child-free and ate out whenever we damn well felt like it.  Whether it was the weekend or not.  Because now that rarely happens.  Dinner out occurs only a few times a year and requires much planning (if you’d like to submit your name to baby-sit two cute and generally well-behaved children for free from time to time, please email me at cher@theonlygirl.com).

But as the dinner wore on, I became acutely aware that this young married couple had barely spoken to each other.  Which was really putting a damper on my nosiness.  They just sat in silence.  Eating their ribs.  Licking their fingers.  They didn’t appear to be in the throws of a silent argument.  Neither of them appeared to have a cold shoulder.  It was like watching an elderly couple out for dinner.  But I don’t find it so sad when it’s the couple’s elderly.  Because their silence is one of comfortable companionship.  And they have likely spent the whole day together around the house so there isn’t much left to talk about.  And they’ve probably been together for decades and quite frankly, what else is there to say?  And they’re just happy to get out for a bit and enjoy a good meal.  But this wasn’t the case with the young couple.  They clearly just didn’t have anything to say to each other.  Already.  In however many short years they had been together, they were already stale.  How sad is that?

Fortunately I had brought my cube of Table Topics Conversation Starters (“these engaging questions inspire the best kinds of conversation”).

Okay – not really.  I don’t even own any.  But can you imagine?  “Um – excuse me.  I noticed that you guys don’t have anything to say to each other so I thought you might like to try this.  It’s a cube full of little cards that have conversation topics on them!  Here – pick one.  Go ahead.  Give it a try.  Oh, you’re welcome.”

Would they have been appreciative?  Or deeply offended and highly insulted?  Probably the latter.

But just for fun, let’s do one ourselves.  With the help of my dear friend, The Internet, I’ve chosen:

“what did you get into trouble for the most when you were young?”

Okay, I’ll go first . . .

Although I don’t remember much from my youth, I do seem to remember frequently getting in trouble for dawdling.   Delaying.  Wasting time.  Dilly-dallying.  I also remember hearing “STAND UP STRAIGHT!” one too many times accompanied by threats of some kind of anti-shoulder slouching brace that would be purchased for me if I was unable to stand up straight on my own.

So come on, dear Readers.  In honour of the Silent Couple, give me your best answer.