I just want you to know how much I don’t really like your food. Well, MOST of the time I don’t really like your food. Now and then a strange yearning comes over me. One that quietly whispers “get some fries” in my ear until finally I obey.
But mostly I think of your food as a grease filled, body fat inducing, wallet draining waste of time*. The rest of my family would strongly disagree. They feel your food is a life necessity. A birthright. An essential service.
So, against my better judgment, we do end up in your drive-thru from time to time. Usually during a brief window between work and a sporting event, or school and music lessons, where there’s simply no time to pop home and cook and we’ve already had subs that week. Or occasionally on the way home from a shopping excursion where your food was used as a “behave or else” bribe.
And I do always try to take a look in the bag that your pimple faced teen fast food drone pleasant employee hands me to ensure you haven’t screwed up the order. And I often catch you neglecting one greasy item or another. But sometimes we’re in a rush, or it’s dark out, and I don’t get to check as thoroughly as I’d like. This is ALWAYS the time that you screw up.
And by the time the discovery is made, it’s too late to go back. And someone is upset. And someone has to share their burger. And someone else is pissed off that they spent perfectly good money on greasy, fattening food that they didn’t even receive.
So, hear me now Ronald. I will no longer accept these ordering omissions. I will sit at your order pick up window for as long as it takes. And I will go through our bag(s) very thoroughly. And IF, nay, WHEN I find an omission, I will demand to speak with a Manager. And I will not leave your pick up window until you’ve rectified the omission and compensated me and my hungry family with complimentary hot fudge sundaes. Because they are the elixirs of forgiveness.
You’ve been warned!
Sincerely,
The Only Girl
—————–
*I’m excluding your coffee from this conversation btw. I do lovey your coffee!
13 Responses to “Dear Ronald McDonald,”
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January 6th, 2010 at 5:07 am
Whew!! you really do get hot under the collar when your order is screwed up, dont you? I hate to imagine what you would be like if , your hair-dresser screwed up, or say the mail man put someone elses mail in you mail box!!! Youre crazy girl, I tell you CRAZY!!!!!! Hot fudge sundaes for evereyone!!!!!
January 6th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Here I am on Day 3 of the Chubby Challenge and you’ve got me craving McD’s. I don’t even like McD’s. Except when I’m dieting and pms’ing at the same time…..,
January 6th, 2010 at 10:06 am
No, no. The APPLE PIES. So perfectly fried. They make the sundaes look amateur. Tell you what–get one of each, eat them together, and then tell me what you think.
January 6th, 2010 at 11:18 am
i HATE HATE mcdonald’s. nevermind the fact that i’m allergic to most if not all of it, it’s the whole mcdonaldization and globalization of our entire world with that fast food chain bothers me.
screwed up orders irk me the most.
January 6th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Screwed up orders are THE worst! DH will not leave the Tim’s drive through window until he has popped the lid on his coffee to check they’ve given him a cup of coffee with one cream and not a cup of cream with a splash of coffee! And he insists on waiting for the pennies in change!
January 6th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Dude. I have some serious cravings for McDs. Their fries speak to me – just like you! We always get it when we’re on a road trip… and maybe every once in a while when i JUST CAN’T RESIST.
I did a post on it once… http://foxyden.blogspot.com/2009/09/cravings.html
January 6th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
I think I like McD’s and then I eat it and half an our later I’m hungry again. They have the best fries ever though! And they always mess up the order when you’re in a hurry. Never fails.
Stopped by from SITS!
January 6th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Blasphemy! Leave the Ronald alone.
January 6th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
I hate McDonalds. Like with a passion. But I drink their coffee, diet coke, and randomly get their ice cream. HOWEVER, last week, I ordered a latte in a hurry, and I drove off assuming they did their job. THEY DID NOT. My latte was grossss, but I was in a rush and couldn’t go back.
I went back (to a different location, mind you) this past weekend, and ordered another latte. Then I told the manager that my previous latte was botched, (this all happens in the drive thru because the sheer smell of McDonald’s makes me queasy) and the manager CAME OUTSIDE and gave me two free latte coupons. The end. So now I hate McDonald’s a little less
xxox
January 6th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
I love, love, love this post. You crack me up! And you’re right…hot fudge sundaes are the elixir of forgiveness.
Thanks for stopping by my blog again.
Kristi, Hello…Is This On?
@TweetingMama
Cher
Replied:
January 7th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
And corporate freebies are the fruits of apology!
January 6th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
You always get ‘effed’ in the drive thru. How am I the first to say this quote?
January 7th, 2010 at 2:17 am
It’s strange how the McDonald’s craving will occur from time to time. Normally I can go without it, but sometimes (usually when I’m planning a DVD marathon) a craving for the food comes on.
After reading this post, I’m craving it now.
And luckily for McDonalds, I’ve never found an item missing from my order.