I think I’m getting old. I don’t feel old, but I’ve started doing a very “old person” thing, which signifies that I must indeed be getting old.
No, I don’t constantly complain about my aches and pains. But if anyone is interested . . . I have a neck thing that I could go into.
No, I don’t measure the wrinkles and crows feet. Although a growing addiction to facial moisturizers is, in fact, becoming a problem.
No, I don’t eat at 5pm and go to bed by 8:30. Although, lately, staying awake past 10:00 is proving to be a challenge.
No, I don’t go to Bingo every Friday night, but if I could find a willing partner . . . I’d love to try it.
No, I haven’t started buying shoes based on comfort instead of style. Okay – that’s not entirely true. They do have to look good AND be comfortable.
No, I don’t count grey hairs. I find that blonde highlights do a good job of camouflaging them.
What I have started doing – is reading the Obituaries in our local paper. And frankly, with great interest. In fact, it’s the section I turn to first when I open the paper.
Strange? Perhaps.
Sure, it’s a little morbid to be so interested in dead people. But it can also be a fascinating learning opportunity. I like to see what people in my age bracket are dying from so I know what to look out for. Sometimes the ailment is stated up front, sometimes you have to use the obit clues and guess a little. It’s kinda like a mystery of sorts. I’m particularly interested in people under 45. Its a little closer to home and less expected.
What I don’t understand is an obit that says “Ethel passed away unexpectedly at the age of 93.” Really? Unexpectedly? She was 93 – surely you anticipated this could be coming. Why are you so surprised?
And I have, on occasion, stumbled upon an obit of a casual acquaintance, the clerk at my grocery store, a relative of someone I know, or, quite sadly, a parent from my kid’s school. People that I wouldn’t necessary have heard about first hand, but am interested to know about nonetheless.
In fact, I’ve considered writing my own obit in advance. So that a) it will be a really good one and b) to save my loved ones from the stress of it all when the time comes.
It might go something like this:
Cher, loving, incredibly patient wife to Willie and dedicated, super tolerant mother to The Youngest and The Eldest. Leaves behind many relatives and friends who may, or may not, miss her dearly. Cher loved sleep and hated sports and exercise. She enjoyed blogging, going to the spa, coffee and eating. She may have twittered nonsense, but at least she twittered. She could often be found in the kitchen or the grocery store when all she really wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a good book. Cher’s life will be celebrated with a party on her back deck where Elvis tunes and songs from the 80’s will be played and all-you-can-eat sushi will be served in her honour. She has specifically requested that she be laid to rest in her pajamas. It will be a closed casket because there’s no way anyone else will be able to style her hair properly. Cher – forever a neat freak – has requested that nothing be placed in the coffin with her for her final journey. This is her final attempt to “keep the place tidy”.
Do you read the Obits or am I just weird? Have you ever considered writing your own?
14 Responses to “Getting Old But Getting Ready”
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March 16th, 2010 at 8:29 am
My Mom-mom was buried in her nightgown…true story. She always said she wanted to be buried in one, and she always wore one in the house. We did not, however, honor the wish of her being buried in a wooden crate in the back yard. That would have just been weird.
March 16th, 2010 at 9:09 am
I love it! Not that I want to EVER read it in the paper but you know what I mean
March 16th, 2010 at 9:11 am
Forgot to say, you did such a great job, I’d like you to write mine up please – in advance – not that I’m planning on going anywhere soon
March 16th, 2010 at 10:25 am
I used to read the obits when I worked full time. It amazed me how many people I knew were in there. I think writing your own obit is an excellent idea. After all no one loves me like I do.
March 16th, 2010 at 11:49 am
It’s rare that I actually pick up a newspaper (I used to work for the paper and cut ties with it when I left my job), but when I do, I sometimes scan the obits. It’s so weird when you run across someone you know.
I’ve never written my own, but I LOVE yours. 80′s tunes and all you can eat sushi sounds like a fantastic party!
Cher
Replied:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Doesn’t it?! Big sads that I’ll miss it.
March 16th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I’ve never read the obituaries but I’ve talked about it with my friends. I think I might have to write mine now. I have instructed my friends though, that upon my death, the funeral will have margharitas and a costume party (with prizes for the best costume). My friends are crazy/cool enough to actually do this too. I’m super sad I’ll miss that.
March 16th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I never read them, I’m a dork and read the wedding/engagements…lame I know.
March 16th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Please make sure I am invited to this shindig. I can’t miss out on sushi and 80′s music.
Maybe we can arrange for me to bring your ashes back and you can rest on my mantle. Then you will have your chance to live in a year round warm climate.
March 16th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Totally understandable. I think it’s a survival-instinct thing, checking to make sure we’re not listed and all.
In all seriousness, it’s not a bad idea to have your obit written ahead of time. It does save your loved ones’ extra grief, plus you can jazz it up a bit. Take yours, for example. Add in a disco ball and your wake could double as a rockin’ house party.
March 17th, 2010 at 11:29 am
i read the obits and announcements. i need to know who is dying and who is getting married before me. i don’t think it’s old. i like to think of myself as a social butterfly. i need to know what is happening in my little neck of the woods.
and your party will be the party of it’s decade.
March 18th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Nope, not today but oh yesterday, This Ozarks farm chick waltzed with the granddaughters and did a very lively Irish jig with one of my grandsons. Heeehehe, I’m kinda’ like Peter Pan….I’ll never grow up. I’m just that kinda’ gal!
From the hills and hollers of the Missouri Ponderosa, ya’ll have a wonderfully blessed day!!!
March 18th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Dang, I think I posted on the wrong post! Heeehehe, Did ya’ll know I was a blonde farm chick?????
March 20th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Yup, you’re just weird, but in a good way.