Friday night the boys and I were on the sidelines of Daddy’s soccer game. It was a beautiful summer evening. We were enjoying the great weather, the fact that it was the start of the weekend, and the rare opportunity to watch their Daddy play.
Before the game started, the boys were kicking around a ball – naturally. Because isn’t that what you do EVERY.WAKING.MOMENT when there’s nothing else to do? No? Okay, well they were.
As the game was about to start, they returned to our sitting blanket. The Eldest had something in his hand that he had clearly found in the grass. It looked like one of those small, hard cases for reading glasses. You know – the kind you can get in the drug store. I was wrong.
“What’s that?” I inquisitively ask.
“I don’t know” replies The Eldest.
And as I looked closer, I noticed that you can pull it apart. And it opens. And . . . THERE’S 2 TAMPONS INSIDE! (I will take the time to mention that they were new, unused and still wrapped. Your welcome.)
It was just like this – only black .
Once the case was open, and it’s little wrapped contents were revealed, questions ensued. Now I will say that The Eldest and I have had chats about boys vs. girls, babies, birth and the like. But we have not yet gotten down to the nitty-gritty of Aunt Flo, a girl’s monthly visitor. Because really? I prefer to impart required info on an age appropriate and need-to-know basis. I’m not at all shy about discussing such subjects with them, but at age 10, I didn’t think this particular topic was on the priority list quite yet.
The Eldest: “What are those?”
Me: my voice in a whispering manner as I lean in closer, so as to give the impression that its private information and we’re not going to be having a big discussion/explanation about it here on the soccer sidelines, surrounded by other families “Oh, those are just girl things.”
Clearly not enough info. My fault.
The ever-curious Youngest: “What kind of girl things?”
And I know he’s thinking that perhaps they might be some type of toy or jewelery or something fun that he could play with.
Me: again with the whispering, private voice “You know, for their vershinas” (it’s their slightly incorrect terminology, but kinda cute so I don’t bother correcting them quite yet)
And then I tell a little white lie to get out of the situation.
“It’s just some special cream.” Followed quickly by “We should just put it down now – it’s not ours” so as to prevent any thoughts The Youngest would likely have about opening the little packages to investigate the cream further.
At which point I started wondering – how long till they discover my en-suite bathroom drawer filled with wrapped up little “vials of cream”?
But there the subject died. Either they didn’t find it at all interesting, or the soccer game acted like a memory eraser because there were no follow up questions on the drive home. Or all weekend for that fact. Because I was expecting it. And I was ready.
What would you have said they were? How do you feel about having “The Talk” with your kids? There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie, is there?
16 Responses to “Sometimes You Just Have To Lie”
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June 21st, 2010 at 2:01 pm
What would I have said they were? Well. To be honest. I would have told my son that yes, they were earrings. And then I would have helped my son fasten them to his earlobes.
Mean mom? No. I prefer funny mom.
Did I ever tell you about the time a 5 year old boy walked in on his mommy inserting one?
Cher
Replied:
June 21st, 2010 at 2:11 pm
OMG. I’m always worried about THAT scenario. I’d be interested to hear how you explained that one! A blog post perhaps???
June 21st, 2010 at 2:03 pm
oh gawd. I think you handled it pretty well. But I would freaked out
June 21st, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Oh dear lord. I have no advice or insights on this one. I think you handled it well.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:12 pm
I have no advice but a similar story. My parents took us to see Look Who’s Talking at the movies. My brother was 10. In the first scene when the sperm are swimming down to the egg my brother asks my mom “What are those?” I was 13 and oh-so-knowledgable about such things so I just snickered. My mom’s response…”Fish”. He didn’t really understand what fish had to do with anything, but he didn’t ask any more questions.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:41 pm
i don’t have kids, so i am really unsure what i would do in this sitch. but i can say, i never had the talk with my parents, and i didn’t have sex ed in school and i seemed to figure it all out ok….i think. i was also kind of a slut in high school, so maybe i should have had the talk. what do i know…
June 21st, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I’m a total jerk, I would have said, “I don’t know. Don’t touch it.”
LOL
June 21st, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Bravo! Handled well!!! And I think one question to be asked is why was it on the ground?! hahahaahaahh!!
Kristin
June 21st, 2010 at 4:45 pm
It depends. If I had a beverage handy, I probably would have unwrapped them and done one of those television absorbency tests.
June 21st, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Not sure I could have handled it any better, I think you were in the best setting for them to easily forget and move on. Now he just needs to forget until they have the sex-ed or health class and the teachers can deal with it. We had our first round of it in 5th grade. Seems early now that I think about it, guess they know what they’re doing with private school girls though
June 21st, 2010 at 11:01 pm
I think you avoided the truth admirably.
I plan to avoid the whole sex, etc.0concept altogether when it comes to Aura. I figure I can outsource the entire conversation. You know there’s a call center somewhere in India that deals with just that.
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:20 am
I have a whole post about parents lying lined up. Well I did, but I forgot what the lie was.
Oh yes, that’s right.
I don’t know what I would have said in that situation. I might have started with “Put those down, they’re not yours”
June 22nd, 2010 at 11:52 am
So funny.
That is, until I become a parent, I’m sure.
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:29 pm
–>I have no idea what I would have said.
Maybe something like, you know how you use a tissue when your nose is running – - women use these as super absorbant toilet paper sometimes.
Oh God, I better get a response together while my son is still young. I just reread that back and it even sounds stupid.
~deb
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Well, not having kids of my own…I have no idea what I would say. I can tell you that I have had the ‘where do babies come from?” chat with about three kids that were not mine….to which I responded “I don’t know, I don’t have any babies, ask your father”. That seems to work.
June 25th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
You know, when we found out we are having a boy, my first thought was OH BOY I don’t have to explain to a daughter that she’s going to start bleeding. But I never thought about this…Cher, I have so much to learn from you!
I never really got a “talk” with my parents…But I will be honest and open with my son about those things (or get his daddy to).