We ordered Chinese food the other night.
At the end of my meal I decided to enjoy a fortune cookie. For one, I find them to be very yummy. For two, I believe that they are relatively low in calories (if you have any evidence to the contrary, please keep it to yourself). And for three, I like the little fortunes. Strange and quirky? Sure. But harmless fun in the comfort of your own home nonetheless.
This was my fortune:
“Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you but what you can do for your fortune cookie.”
So here’s the question – What the HELL do you suppose THAT is supposed to mean!?!?
Naturally I couldn’t help but contemplate it all weekend . . .
Is it something so deep that my low intelligence is simply not able to grasp it?
Have I been looking at fortune cookies completely wrong all these years?
Is it merely an Asian factory worker trying to pull a fast one on me?
Are fortune cookies actually made in the US by JFK fans?
Please submit your thoughts immediately. This mystery must be solved.
16 Responses to “Ancient Chinese Secret?”
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July 5th, 2010 at 6:31 am
I know for sure that fortune cookies are made in a Chinese factory. Why you ask, well years ago my sister had a fortune cookie, and the message inside was “help me I.m being held captive in a chinese fortune cookie factory” So there you have it!!! She never did report it to the police though, I guess that poor sod is still plugging away in that factory somewhere in mainland China!!!!
July 5th, 2010 at 6:57 am
I think one thing you can do for your fortune cookie is to eat it, and enjoy it.
That’s two things.
And how many things has your fortune cookie done for you?
July 5th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Sigh. Leave it to the communists to strangle a perfectly good quote.
I’d change takeout places.
July 5th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Dude. You can eat it. That’s what you can do for it.
July 5th, 2010 at 7:08 pm
I’m laughing so hard at Kate’s comment that I can’t possibly even pull myself together enough to say anything remotely as witty. Kate: 2 points; Fortune Cookie: 0
July 5th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
You and I are so much alike because I would have just been disgusted to get that fortune! haha!
July 6th, 2010 at 1:58 am
Its a conspiracy!!
July 6th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I think the fortune cookie people are getting lazy! And that is TOTAL BS!! I mean, you’re supposed to be able to put “in bed” after every fortune and that TOTALLY doesn’t work here… which means it is an inapplicable fortune.
Damn them. Stupid fortune cookie makers.
July 6th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
That is one of the weirder fortunes I’ve ever heard. They must be running out of ideas down at the factory?
July 6th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Duh. Clearly your fortune cookie is hitting on you. I mean, what do YOU think it wants you to do? Obviously higly perverted things. Crack it, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOO.
July 6th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Really what does a fortune cookie do for you if it gives you advice like that crap! Oh wait you’re not supposed to ask what it does for you. Nevermind
July 7th, 2010 at 11:26 am
That would have made me mad!
July 7th, 2010 at 11:45 am
I’m laughing because you supposedly can add “in bed” to the end of every fortune cookie fortune.
“Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you but what you can do for your fortune cookie… in bed.”
Hmmm….
July 7th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
The only thing I can think to do for your fortune cookie is NOT to eat it and we all know how likely that is to happen. lol Some fortunes are really silly.
Have a great day!
July 7th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
That basically means that your fortune cookie is retarded.
July 7th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
The Fortune Cookie must be tired of giving out fortunes so I think it needs some for itself! So funny.