Here at “The Only Girl”, I typically aim to be either mildly entertaining or at the very least, moderately educational. I’m hoping that today’s post will fall under the “moderately educational” heading. And it’s important. So listen closely my Dears . . . I’m about to give you a very big life lesson.
When your eldest son turns 10, and your family’s summer schedule is so busy that you are unable to schedule a birthday party with his friends until a month later, DO NOT let him talk you into the following;
- Having 4 of his closest buddies over – 4 doesn’t sound like very many, but 10 year olds are big and they are loud. Especially when they’re all in the same room or in the same car. It’s really equivalent to having about 14 buddies over.
- Taking the 4 buddies (plus your own 2 boys and a husband) to the movies. Because this means the count will be Males – 7 against You – 1. Clearly out-numbered and clearly not fun for you. Plus? They eat a lot and will cost you a week’s pay at the concession stand.
- Having the 4 buddies back to your house for a swim, pizza and cake. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like once they all reach puberty and their voices change because even with voices like girls they are SO loud. Think of jack-hammers and concert music. This is the type of loud I’m speaking of.
- Allowing the 4 buddies to sleep over. THIS was my big mistake. Did you know that when 5 boys are in the same room together the loudness and silliness ratio increases exponentially? AND the discussions are limited to sports, television shows, butts and farts? AND the more boys that are in a room, the less likely they are to actually sleep? I can confirm that no truer words have ever been spoken.
Also? 10 year old boys are attention whores. They have a strong need to always be the centre of attention when in a room with their peers. They will tell the same joke over and over again if it got a laugh the first time. They will also use the same silly voice over and over again if it went over well the first time (I can’t tell you how many times I heard the word “semiiiii-circllllle!” and yet I still have no idea what they meant). They will call someone’s name repeatedly and as loud as is necessary in order to get that person’s attention. They will fight to the death to get the coveted seat beside the Birthday Boy.
Unfortunately for them, I don’t mind being the very tired bad person who just wants to get some sleep. Which is why I had to go into their room repeatedly to threaten them with such statements as:
- Okay guys. You need to settle it down now. Everyone in their sleeping bags and quiet voices please.
- Guys! Seriously. If Willie has to come in here he’s not going to be happy (which was a total lie. Willie would never have gone in there. but he’s their soccer coach so I thought that statement might carry some weight. wrong.)
- Stop the pillow fight, turn the light back off and get in your sleeping bags! It’s 1:00 in the morning!
I was planning to get some payback by waking them up early the next morning, but it seems they beat me to it.
Do you have any suggestions for a quiet party next year?
22 Responses to “WHAT was I thinking?!?!”
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August 25th, 2010 at 11:45 am
I really really have to say this —-I TOLD YOU SO! You don’t have my sympathy, just laughs from me. My warning was not to do it as sleep overs are not fun for the grown ups. Been there – done that. I will say no more — ha ha ha!
But I do hope the eldest enjoyed his special day.
August 25th, 2010 at 11:48 am
while i don’t have kids, i can only imagine i would be happy having it at a place where you can pay people to do all the work while you enjoy an alcoholic beverage. actually, i would like to do this with my dog some days…
August 25th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Suggestion for next year: Send Willie and one of the other dads with the boys on a camping trip. Fun for them, quiet time for you.
August 25th, 2010 at 11:53 am
I am exhausted for you right now. I will have to remember this for when I have a 10 year old.
You are just too cool of a mom for your own good. At least it sounds like he had a great birthday?
Cher
Replied:
August 25th, 2010 at 11:54 am
Oh yeah – he had a great time! Me and Willie? Not so much.
August 25th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
the sacrifices we make as parents, our sanity and our sleep.
August 25th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Duct tape.
August 25th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I am SO GLAD you are in these shoes before I am, Cher! Thanks to you, I’ll a.) know what to expect and b.) know what to do to avoid these situations before they ever start!
Cher
Replied:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
My only hope is that my tales of suffering will be helpful warnings to others.
August 25th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
For my kids’ birthdays I let them pick a weekend trip – just the four of us. It doesn’t end up costing any more than a party and it is so much less stress.
August 25th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
EEEEEK! Totally taking notes for when the dude is that age!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Too funny… I feel your pain my friend. Well, actually I don’t, but I can feel sorry for you, knowing I won’t ever have to!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
I hear hyenas are quite calm and pleasant.
Perhaps you could do a zoo exchange next year?
August 26th, 2010 at 12:05 am
I have read, re-read and triple read this. I will refer back to it as my bible. I am not far behind you, you know.
My only saving grace is I have to deal with one male rugrat. I have a feeling that my girl and her friends will be loud but I will want to hop in and be loud with them talking about make-up, clothes and Beiber Fever.
August 26th, 2010 at 5:39 am
Ah yes, I remember the all nighter played out for one of my birthdays where it was video games and laughing and abuse all night. Good times…
I never had a birthday party after that come to think of it.
August 26th, 2010 at 9:28 am
oh, those smelly, loud, obnoxious boys.
sadly, girls aren’t any quieter or less obnoxious.
the solution? dogs.
ugh…but they poop in the house.
August 26th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I’ve always said I want boys so I don’t have to deal with the drama of pre-teen, teen, post-teen and actual adulthood with having girls. When I read this and think of the noise level my head hurts for you. It’s probably a good thing kids aren’t in my near future
August 26th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Gags might work well. Muzzles, too.
August 26th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
I’ll try ‘em first and get back to you.
August 28th, 2010 at 7:51 am
I learnt pretty early on not to do sleepovers with more than one or two boys at a time! Oh – and the noise doesn’t get any better as they grow older…
August 30th, 2010 at 9:39 am
LOL!!! Awww, I can’t imagine. I’m not a parent but I’m taking notes
But you sound like an awesome mom and I’m sure the boys had a terrific time!
August 31st, 2010 at 4:44 pm
No suggestions, but as always I’m writing this down in the “big book of things Cher can teach me about having a son”. Once we had half the boys basketball team over to our house to watch the NCAA tournament and it was the loudest sound I’ve ever heard. They decided to quit watching the actual game and start watching each other play the XBox version of exactly what they were watching..lots of screams when somebody would make a basket. So weird.