“Everything I do - I do it for you” – Bryan Adams 1991
(name the movie, without using Google, and win my undying respect)
WARNING: In order for this post to make ANY sense at all, you have to have read my most recent post about unicycles. It can be found here.
Then you have to picture me doing my best Jessica Fletcher (aka Angela Lansbury) imitation.
So yesterday, I make the short 5 minute drive to our local convenience store for something convenient. About half way there I pass – you guessed it – a boy on a unicycle. AGAIN! I immediately consider a rapid U-turn and some stalking. Unfortunately a red light foiled my plans and I lost him in a nearby subdivision.
BUT. Later that same day, I’m sitting out front of my house. Willie, the boys and a friend or two are throwing a football around. I’m flipping through a magazine as I have absolutely no interest, desire nor ability to throw a football around.
When suddenly, my intent reading of the “mascaras in review” section is rudely interrupted by Willie shouting at me from the road. “Cher!” he barks. Fearing a football injury had just taken place or a ball was hurling towards my head, I looked up from my work to see him madly pointing at a boy that has just riden past our house ON A UNICYCLE!
I immediately hop into action and run down the driveway shouting “Hey! Buddy!” I do it for you, dear Readers. I do everything for you.
The following is the conversation we had, to the best of my recollection . . .
ME: Hey – just wanted to ask you about the unicycle. I’ve been seeing lots of them around town lately. What’s up with the unicycles? Is it the latest thing?
Teen-aged Boy: It’s probably just me & my brother you’ve seen (good attempt at covering up the suspicious unicycle activity. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there are more boys involved in this plot than just him and his brother)
ME: (realizing I’ve probably freaked him out a bit by chasing him down the street, I attempt to smooth things over) Are they hard to ride?
TB: Not really. You get used to it. It’s like riding a bike (I deem this to also be a cover-up lie. It’s clearly NOT like riding a bike. There’s only 1 wheel, no handles and no kick-stand. In fact I’d hazard to say that it’s the opposite of riding a bike)
ME: Are they hard to steer? I guess you just use your body weight, eh?
TB: Ya. You get used to it.
ME: So you’re not training for the circus or anything?
TB: No . . .
ME: You just like riding a unicycle?
TB: Ya. I guess.
ME: hmmm. Very interesting. Okay cool. Thanks for the info.
And off I went. Back to my magazine. Knowing in my heart of hearts that I did all that I could to get to the bottom of this disturbing trend for my loyal Readers. At least for today. But I assure you – the investigation WILL continue. I will NOT rest until, well, until I’m tired of talking about unicycles.
So, are you buying what he’s selling? Thoughts? Comments? Praise for my investigative work?
28 Responses to “Everything I Do – I Do It For You”
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September 20th, 2010 at 8:41 am
Were they just walking around one day and thought “Hey! Unicycle!”. Extra awesome points for chasing him down the street. There’s a school of circus arts nearish me and they have unicycle lessons. I’ve always kind of wanted to learn. i didn’t *really* need two wheels on my bicycle.
September 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
The movie of course is Robin Hood, Prince of Theives with Kevin Costner. ANd that is wierd about the unicycles. Odd that you are seeing them everywhere.
September 20th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Hmm. Vandy beat me to the Robinhood reference. What kind of name is Vandy, anyway?
Ok, I am SO proud of you for chasing him down the street. And what’s better is I can actually SEE you doing this. Have I mentioned how happy I am that we met? I’m just sad I can’t see you everyday now. And share a bed with you.
My guess? These boys are aliens visiting from another planet. They are here to distract you with the unicycles while the other aliens are eating our faces off.
September 20th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
Um, ROBIN HOOD, of course!! With sweet Kevin Costner looking all hot. That was my senior year in high school and I looooooooved that movie!!
And he’s TOTALLY covering something up. I can feel it.
September 20th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
i say … man. nice one. i would have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too lazy to chase after a unicycle.
September 20th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Um. That boy is full of shit.
That is totally a unicycle plot going on.
Also? Robin Hood. Many a boy used that song trying to get in girls’ pants in h/s.
September 20th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
So let me get this straight…A teenaged boy doing something odd just because they like it. No girls, no peer pressure, no circus? Unlikely… I’m glad you’re on the case.
September 20th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I’m not at all buying what he’s selling because frankly, even if it’s just he and his brother, there is no way that is really a “thing”. So either training for the circus, or maybe they are too poor to buy bikes.
September 20th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I think there’s a uni cycle gang in your ‘hood!
September 20th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
awww you love us. I’m so proud of you for trying to infiltrate the unicycle gang
September 20th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
It’s a conspiracy. Or something.
September 20th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
The movie is Robin Hood…the Kevin Costner version…not the rip-off Russell Crowe version.
And the unicycle thing is happening here too. There is one guy that I see everyday who rides it on the street during rush hour, weaving in and out of traffic. I’ve also seen people on them in Central Park, but I didn’t think anything of it…because it’s NY and people here are strange.
September 20th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Good one. Because there is nothing like a cute blonde woman running after you, her pink boa flapping in the wind, to make a boy’s day. You may have scared him a bit with your interrogation, but in a Nice Way.
Oh, Robin Hood. I watched you one million billion times and had the soundtrack. I never found Kevin Costner terribly convincing, but I do love the morally questionable storyline.
I would totally get a unicycle, just to try it out and get back to you about it. But I would die and that would ruin the getting-back-to-you part.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
ok i didn’t know the movie because my a.d.d. prevents me from paying attention to any movie without will ferrell or napolean dynamite in it (i am certain that is that kids real name. napolean…) but anywho, bravo on the investigative work. gogogadgetcher. he is so hiding something. i mean, you would know if you were seeing the same kids over and over. you’d be like “there’s those weird circus brothers again”. hmm. i think they are training to be the next extreme athlete or something and figure if they keep their practices on the D.L. then there will be no one to beat them. because let’s face it, if your kids tried, they would be way better at it.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
The movie is Robin Hood….I seem to remember standing outside Maple Leaf Gardens back in the day trying to buy tickets off of someone and hearing him playing this live!!
The unicycle thing is weird….cool, but weird!!!
September 20th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
I love that song and would fast forward to the end of the VHS to watch Bryan Adams’ music video. I loved Kevin Costners version of Robin Hood
I’m still not getting the why of the unicycle mystery, but look forward to more answers!
September 21st, 2010 at 4:15 am
Good job with the investigation – shame you couldn’t get the truth out of him. Maybe you need some bribes – do you bake cookies? Maybe you can bribe them with butter tarts?
I’ve done some reasearch on this too and have found the following so far, there may be more to it than you’ve seen already..
.
- there is another step in this unicycle madness – extreme unicycling: http://blogs.bettor.com/The-Sport-of-Extreme-Unicycling-a28142
- Recently there was a finalist on the Regis and Kelly show (I think this is some kind of popular US show?) this guy rides a unicycle while shooting a bow and arrow – do you think this is what these guys have planned?
http://www.tmcnet.com/usubmit/2010/09/10/5001594.htm
- In NYC earlier this month there was a big meeting of uni-cyclists – they must have been planning something…this involved uni-cycle hockey and basketball.
http://brooklyn.ny1.com/content/top_stories/124933/nyc-celebrates-unicycles-this-weekend
Keep a lookout!
Jade
September 21st, 2010 at 4:39 am
The movie of course is Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner
Yep, I got that without Google.
I told you it was a case of a family buying a bike and dividing it right in two. If you want to know what’s going on in the Canadian world of Unicycles you come to ScoMan. He has the answers.
He can’t count, but he has the answers.
September 21st, 2010 at 9:48 am
If it is only the two brothers on their unicycles, then I’m kind of feeling sorry for them.
The must be neglected by their drug addicted alcoholic parents. They have struggled to save enough money for a bicycle, and as ScoMan has said, split it in half so that both can enjoy. On a positive note, at least they have each other!
September 22nd, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Dangit! I question that I could have finally easily answered without google.
September 23rd, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Well done! fellow mommy-in-a-household-of-boys! Well done! I love reading your blog- feel free to follow me back!!
September 25th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Cher, you are freaking fabulous! I love that you chased him down and asked him all about it!
On a related note, I have a cousin who rides a unicycle. He’s got this whole business where he’s like a travelling one man show. He juggles, tells jokes, dances, and rides a unicycle. He makes a shit ton of money performing for large corporations at company retreats and what not.
September 27th, 2010 at 3:16 am
LMBO! You’re so funny! I think he was lying through his teeth though! I think it’s a trend, but they want to keep it on the DL for some reason… a very strange trend though. I have no idea! LOL
September 27th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
A) Do you not love the part of yourself that is willing to make an ass out of yourself as long as you get a good blog post out of it later? I think it’s fabulous and I’m glad you did it.
B) “There’s nowhere unless you’re there. All the time…. all the way!” (I’m not looking at other comments, but I imagine others have already given the correct answer of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman and Christian Slater. I’m just trying to impress you with the depth of my knowledge now.)
C) Thank God you were attempting to get something convenient at the convenience store. Your common sense is what keeps me coming back.
September 30th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
I hope that you get to the bottom of this soon. I think that it is your civic duty to find out what is going on. Thanks for being on the case.
October 2nd, 2010 at 11:25 pm
That is some kind of investigative journalism! I would like to know if any unicycles come with training wheels.
Thank you so much for your kind support.
October 2nd, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Cher, I am not buying it either! Keep investigating!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
October 12th, 2010 at 9:17 am
Oh my goodness…this was hysterical! First of all…when I had pneumonia a couple of years ago, all I did was lay in bed and watch marathons of “Murder, She Wrote” so I totally dig that reference. Also…if this is just the boy and his brother, shouldn’t they be in school or doing homework or sleeping or something? Are you sure they aren’t vampires? Clearly they don’t play hockey. I doubt this is *just* the boy and his brother. But I do love trying to get information out of teenagers. It’s like they will spontaneously combust if they use too many words to answer your questions. Awesome.