Okay – just had to get that out of the way.

Why?  Because I’m really excited.  Nervous, yes.  But mainly, really excited.

What could possibly have The Only Girl so excited?

An adventure.  That’s what.

I’m composing this post on Thursday afternoon.  As I sit on an airplane.  BY MYSELF PEOPLE!  Because I’m en route to one hell of a Girl’s Weekend.

Where you may ask?

Hold on tight.  Are you ready for this one???

I’m flying from Toronto to Boston.  To meet these people, who just so happen to be a few of my most favourite Bloggers;

•  Monique from A Day in the Life of a Surferwife
• Jessalyn from Cape Code Awesome
• Kate from Then Again Kate

I know!

And on Saturday night we are going to see the show of this person;

(Chelsea Handler) 

Apparently she’s a famous comedian.  I’ve read about her on many of your blogs, but honestly?  We don’t get her show in Canada, so no one up here really knows who she is.  I’ve been YouTubing her like crazy this week in preparation, but am slightly afraid that I’m not quite up to speed.  AND we have backstage passes!

I KNOW!

No, us Bloggers have never met before.  Well, at least not outside of the safe confines of the Webz.  And yet we know so much about each other.  But meet we will.  Tonight.  Gulp.

Can I just tell you how nerve-racking the thought of meeting these girls in person has been?  Granted, I just decided to join this little weekend meet-up barely over 1 week ago.  A very last minute and impulsive decision for The Only Girl.  She’s is not good with such things.  She likes to plan.  A lot.  Allow me to peel back the curtains of my mind and let you in on what the past week has been like. 

• What was I thinking?
• How can I quickly lose 5 pounds?
• I change my mind!  I’m not going!
• These boys are driving me crazy – how many more days?
• What to pack . . . what to pack?
• Crap – I need to get a mani, pedi and hair cut before I go!
• What if I don’t like them?  What if they don’t like me?
• What if we sit in awkward silence most of the weekend?
• I’ll be one of the few people who actually gets to see what the elusive Kate looks like
• Can the boys be trusted by themselves?  Surely they know to have the house back in order before I arrive home, right? (note: this was a cryptic reminder meant solely for Willie. Hi Honey!  Miss you!)
• Chilling on The Cod – Jessalyn style!
•  I am physically unable to poop outside my home base.  This means no poop for 3 days.  If you should see pictures of me where I appear quite bloated or slightly pregnant, please know it’s the poop.
• Generally, I’m unable to stay awake past 11:30.  I am sure to be the party pooper.
• Oh – Margaritas with Surferwife!  Inventor of the Celebrity Encounter Margarita Barometer!  How cool will THAT be?!

As you can see, I’ve been riding the crazy horse of emotions.  But now it’s too late.  I’m on the plane and the meet-up is eminent.  Wish me luck.

Be sure to visit their blogs to see what they have to say!

You can see all the other tours over on my sidebar.  Who’s doing the next one???  

And thanks to everyone for their vlog questions.  You people have really submitted some doozies.  Of course as both the vlog’s Director and Producer, I have given myself full authority to only select the easy questions.  I hope to post it tomorrow.  If I can only figure out how. *pounds fist in frustration*

Next item . . . a few weeks ago I placed an order at Daisy & Elm, which is the fab Etsy store from my girl Allyson at Magnolias & Mimosas where she sells her gorgeous handmade jewellery.  Each piece is an original because she makes only 1 of each item.  I had wandered over there from the link on her blog and immediately fell in love with a certain item named “Not Your Mamas Pearls” (I love how she gives each piece a name!)  A quick click or two of the mouse and it was mine, all mine!  

You can imagine how excited I was when this beautiful box came out of the package in my mailbox!

And here’s me sporting my new little beauty!  It’s it lovely?  Just wait and see how good I look once if I get a tan.

Although, while surfin’ the net the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that it bares a striking resemblance to a little number that a few other people have worn . . . is it just me???  

(Charlize Theron)

(we all know who)

(Monique’s BFF aka Chelsea Handler)

(The Ga)  

Ha –  I kid!  I like to showcase practice my crazy photoshop skills whenever possible. 

Seriously, Allyson’s pieces are truly originals, top quality and gorgeous.  Be sure to check them out.  

Laters!

Seinfeld, is one of my all time favourite shows ever.  In fact, Willie and I can frequently be found watching re-runs or throwing out quotes to each other.  To the point where we may or may not actually be able to re-create scenes.  And I do feel a certain camaraderie with Elaine  – what with the “only girl” thing and all.

TV Guide once named Seinfeld the greatest television program of all time.  Although I’m sure that could be argued by some, I would definitely agree.

And if being a critical favourite, commercial blockbuster and cultural phenomenon wasn’t enough, Seinfeld has also enriched our vocabulary.  Who could forget these terms;

The Close Talker – one who speaks to a person at point blank range (usually with both peoples’ noses less than a foot away from the other)

The High Talker – 1) a man with a very high voice 2) a man who gives the impression of being a woman over the telephone

The Low Talker – 1) a woman who speaks in a very low (sometimes sub-sonic) voice 2) a woman who speaks in a low, inaudible tone in order to trick some-body into wearing a funny looking shirt on a nationally televised talk show

But I’m afraid they have overlooked one other kind of Talker, which I will now take the liberty of adding;

The Laugh Talker – A person, usually a female, who finds it necessary to laugh/giggle after EVERY thing they say. Whether it deserves a laugh/giggle or not.

Examples:

Me:  Good Morning
The LT:  Good Morning . . . hee hee hee

Me:  Are you almost done with the photocopier?
The LT:  yep, I’m on my last page . . . hee hee hee

Me:  Is this your file?
The LT:  Oh yeah, sorry . . . hee hee hee

Me:  I really like your new jacket
The LT:  Really?  Thanks . . . hee hee hee

Me:  So, how’s the wedding plans coming?
The LT:  hee hee hee . . . we’re getting there . . . hee hee hee

Me:  Did you hear Bob got let go!?
The LT:  Yeah, isn’t that terrible . . . hee hee hee

Me:  I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandmother
The LT:  Thanks . . . hee hee hee

Really?  Are these replies really worthy of giggles?  NO.  So stop wasting perfectly good giggles!  Save them for something that’s actually funny.

You, Laugh Talker, are a Hipster Doofus!

Are you a Laugh Talker?  Do you know any?  Got any other kind of “Talkers” for me?  I’m submitting this to Jerry himself, so I could send yours at the same time if you’d like.

First you have Surferwife who was treated to VIP front row seats and was actually on TV with her BFF Chelsea Handler.  Not to mention her close friendship with Heather McDonald.  She’s famous now and will likely stop hanging out with us.  Which I totally understand.

Then The Pioneer Woman scored herself a movie deal.  Gah.  All I can say is – thank God I already have her autograph.

And Danny Tanner has pretty much handed MODG a patent on toilet pictures.

All very impressive.  I’m clearly doing something wrong.

Then the other day I took the boys to see a movie to keep them quiet for 2 hours because I’m such a good mom.  And you can imagine my surprise when I came around the corner and damn near walked right into this poster . . .

Now don’t get me wrong.  I do love me some Salt.  And yes, I would like to know a little more about who she is.  But a movie?!?!?!  Starring Angelina Jolie?!?!?  Wow.  Very impressive Salt.  Very impressive indeed.

This certainly helps to explain the botox and the new bangs.  Which, may I say, look strikingly similar to Angie’s.  Or maybe her’s look like yours.  It’s all getting very confusing.

Clearly we’ve all been mislead into believing you’re a newlywed graphic designing blogger, instead of the CIA Officer you actually are.  But now your cover is blown and you have some explaining to do.

Well done my friend.  Kudos to you.  I only hope you remember us all when it comes time to dish out those movie premier tickets.

In the meantime, I’ve gotta get my crap together and figure out where in the world of famous The Only Girl fits in.

Let’s see . . . where to start?

First off, I hit “Hair & Make Up” (aka my bathroom) about 5:30pm Eastern.  For those of you not in the know, this is a solid 3 hours before the Oscars started and before we have Sunday dinner in these parts.

Once I was dolled up, I donned my finest full length gown.  It was a vintage emerald green satin number that I wore 13 years ago on the night of my 1996 work Christmas party, which was when Willie and I started dating.  True – it doesn’t hang quite as nicely now as it did then, but surely I get some points for the fact that the damn thing still fits.

Then it was time to head downstairs to put the finishing touches on dinner, and amuse the boys.  Mission accomplished.  They love whenever “Ms. Crazy LaRue” comes for dinner.  I often wonder “does this amuse them or scar them?”  I suppose only time will tell.

Then a quick kitchen clean up, packing of the lunches, gathering of my completed Oscar Nomination Ballot Form and Oscar Bingo sheets.  The boys were tucked in for the night and Willie was relegated to the bedroom TV.  Let the snacks show begin!

First up was the sushi – nothing fancy, just a few Cali rolls.  After all, I did just hoss down a plate of ham & scalloped potatoes for dinner.

All washed down with gingerale.

I decided to forego the cheese tray this year and went with this instead.

That’s right folks – Lemon Meringue pie!  A brilliant substitution.

It was at this point (about an hour and a half into the show) that I opted for the comfort of my pajamas for the remainder of the evening.  For obvious elastic waistband reasons.

And yes, I did hang in there to the bitter end.  Which, may I say, was bitter?  In fact I thought the whole show was a big – “meh”.  Kinda boring.  No big moments – neither embarrassing nor heart warming.  Although I did like Sandra Bullock’s speech and was glad Jeff Bridges and Christoph Waltz won.

And for the first time in years I got a bunch of the winners right.  Of the 13 categories I made predictions in, I got 10 correct!  This is unheard of, I assure you.

I’m not going to review the whole show or the outfits for you.  There’s plenty of sites out there that do that for a living and frankly, I’m not getting paid and you likely don’t care.

But what I can say, is that my party was fantastic and was worth the sleepy Hollywood “Hangover” I had Monday morning.

Next year I’ll be keeping the guest list the same.  I think there’s something to be said for an exclusive party.  Although I just might buy myself a strip of red carpet.  I think it would really add something magical to my Family Room that night.

Did you watch The Oscars?  Have I inspired you enough to host your own “Oscar Party For One” next year?  Is the name “Ms. Crazy LaRue” fitting or should it just be “crazy”?

————————————————————————————————————————-

P.S.  I’ve managed to land an interview with a certain Blogger and hope to post it for your reading pleasure tomorrow.

Hint:  This person is opposite to just about everything that I am.  Curious now???

Dear Ree,

Enclosed, please find 2 of your fab cookbooks.  One is mine, and the other is my BFF, Elle’s.  I gave it to her for Christmas.  She claims it was the best gift she received.  And I believe her because I do give great gifts.

We’ve both been big PW readers for awhile now and were so excited when you announced the launch of your cookbook and the book tour!  Yay – we would finally get to meet you face to face!  After reading you for so long, and feeling like we totally and completely kinda know you, this was a very exciting prospect.

But then we read through the list of cities you would be visiting.  Shock!  Horrors!  Not only was our beloved city excluded, so was our country!  Surely to God you have many loyal readers and fans up here in Canada!  Let’s take the Calgary Stampede for example – that place is CRAWLING with cowboys.  Surely they’d ALL want their wives to have a copy of your book.

But alas, it was not meant to be.  Calgary was not on the list, and nor was our beloved Toronto.

But we will not let that deter us.  No.  We will continue to read, to enjoy and to admire our PW.  And in the meantime, we really hope you’re still doing the “book signing by mail” option.  Otherwise we’ve waste time and postage sending you our books.  And you can probably get one for free whenever you want.  I imagine you probably have a whole case of them in your house right now.  In case someone comes by the door.  You seem like you’d be really generous like that.

Anywhoo – we’re lost without our cookbooks and our families will not be eating until they are returned.  We hope that inspires you to sign and re-mail quickly.  But not too quickly – I’d be really annoyed if you rushed things and spelled my name wrong.

We’d be most appreciative if you could make one out to Elle and the one with all the post-it flags to Cher.  Please don’t remove any of the post-it flags.  Those are all the recipes I didn’t like – ha!  Just kidding.  Those are the ones I’m dying to try for my house of annoyingly picky boys loving family.

Many thanks – for the great website, for the awesome cookbook, and for the signings.

Much admiration,

Cher

And a couple weeks later, our cookbooks showed up in my mailbox.  Here’s mine;

See?  “from your BFF“.  And a heart.

Sorry Elle.  I think you’ve been replaced.

And if any of you also have one of The Pioneer Woman’s books signed in a very similar manner, please keep it to yourself.  I don’t want to ruin my fantasy.

———————————————————————————————————————-

Be sure to enter yesterday’s Olympic Prize Pack give away.  Deadline is today (Tuesday) at noon Eastern time.

]]> http://theonlygirl.com/2010/02/does-she-say-this-to-all-us-girls/feed/ 10 http://theonlygirl.com/2010/02/the-king-and/ http://theonlygirl.com/2010/02/the-king-and/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 09:30:38 +0000 Cher http://theonlygirl.com/?p=1625 Did you ever meet someone, a complete stranger, but instantly felt like you’ve met them before?

Maybe there was something about their voice, or their mannerisms.   Maybe the way their mouth moved when they spoke or their eyes.  Something.  You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but yet, it was there.  A familiarity that you just couldn’t deny.

This is how I feel about him.  About Elvis.

I’m SURE we had met before.  Likely in another life because I certainly never met him in this one.  But how can someone be SO familiar if you’ve never met them?

Did I watch too many of his movies as a kid and permanently ingrain him in my mind?  No.  I prefer to believe that we did meet in a previous life.  That we were good friends.  Possibly even Lovers.  Maybe High School Sweethearts.  But that something tragic happened that tore us from each other.  And our lives together were never completed.

Which is why he wandered through his life always searching for that perfect love again – the one that he had shared with me.  I just know it.  In fact I’m convinced of it.  And you will not be able to tell me anything different.  Sadly no amount of drugs, doughnuts or peanut butter sandwiches were ever enough to fill that void that I left behind.

Yep.  You heard it here people – The Only Girl was the love of Elvis’ life.

Shut up.  I was so.

None other than Shelley Long!  That’s right – Miss Diane Chambers from the hit 80’s show “Cheers”.

Do you see any resemblance?  Is it the hair?  The fair complexion?  The eyes?  What?  WHAT IS IT?!?!  After all these years I still can’t figure it out!  But 437 people who stopped me on the street back in 1987 can’t all be wrong – can they?

Some of yesterday’s guesses included:

• Farrah Fawcett (really Belle?  I am flattered, but maybe you should have your eyes checked)
• Bea Arthur (dear husband . . . you’re so dead.  You have till the end of the weekend to make it up to me – get started!)
• Sarah Michelle Gellar (really Cath?  Buffy the Vampire Slayer?  I think that’s a bit of a stretch)
• Cheryl Ladd (hmmm . . . actually Lori, that’s not a bad guess)
• and several (again, I’m puzzled) Shelley Long guesses

But the winner is actually Elle, who was the first to guess correctly at 9:34 am.  Well done!  If you actually want the guinea pig or the autographed picture of me, just email me your mailing address.  If I don’t hear from you, I’ll completely understand.

I would,  however, be remiss if I didn’t discuss a few items of concern surrounding this picture.

Item #1 – what’s with the bangs? I remember that I took great pains to get them feathered back and up in that particular puff-ball, but I don’t know why.  It’s clearly not a good look and the slightest hint of rain or humidity and, well, bang disaster.

Item #2 – what young woman in her very early 20’s wears a blazer and a string of pearls? Again, I have no response.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  In fact I’m pretty sure I let my room-mate help select my wardrobe for this picture, and she actually had really good taste.  So all I can think of is that she was trying to sabotage me.

Item #3 – what’s up with the serious face? Shouldn’t I have been smiling?  I was in my early twenties, single and living with my best friend.  I had a sweet little office job that paid the rent and then some.  I had my own car and went out with my friends almost every night.  Life was good.  Really good.  I should have been grinning from ear to ear.  Or laughing hysterically.  Or at least something other than this blank “deer caught in the headlights”  stare.

Item #4 – why would I have sat for such a portrait when I was no longer in school and didn’t have to? Another very good question.  Well I’ll tell you why.  I had it taken for my parents.  I had moved out (with their love and blessings) at this time in my life and was working full time and I suppose I wanted to give them a picture of the new “grown up” me.  The “see Mom, you don’t have to worry about me at all.  I managed to get myself up, wash and dressed and to this portrait appointment on time, so I must be doing just fine.  And if you’re missing me you can just look at this very lovely picture” kind of portrait.  From Sears.  Because that’s where grown up, responsible girls in their early twenties get their portraits done.  Apparently.

Hope you liked it Mom.

And Shelley Long, if you’re reading this, did you ever have someone tell you that you look like me?

And when I say “I was compared to” I mean I was actually stopped on the street by strangers.  Or approached in bars (gasp!  yes, I spent a fair bit of time in such establishments in my youth) in order to be told “Has anyone ever said that you look just like blank?” or “You know who you look like?”  To the point that it became really annoying.  At first I was pleased.  Or amused.  But by the end of the year I was just getting annoyed.  Because a) it was never ending  b) each smug person thought that they were the first to notice such similarities and c) this particular Hollywood celeb really wasn’t that good looking.

And so, dear readers, here’s you chance.  Who do you think I look like?  Leave me a comment with your guess (oh, and those people that actually knew me back in the day are disqualified.  Because it was a well known fact who my look-alike was).  But the rest of you are all fair game.  Your comments won’t post till after midnight tonight Eastern time so that you can’t see what everyone else is guessing until the next day.  Oh what fun!

No, there isn’t a prize.  Just bragging rights.  To being the winner of The Only Girl’s first ever contest.  Or perhaps a full grown stinky lovable guinea pig?  Or an 8″ x 10″ autographed glossy picture.  Of me.  Yeah, didn’t think so.

So come on – all you loyal commenters and lurkers alike.  Give me your best shot.  Who do you think I used to look like?

I’ll post the answer tomorrow along with an in-depth analysis of this picture, because obviously, some analysis needs to be done.

(hint:  this picture was taking circa 1987 so it was someone known from back then)

Anywhoo – I entered the Mac Cosmetics store and was greeted by a delightful young girl who proceed to help me in my quest.  And who, at one point during our make-up transaction, said “Do you ever get told you look like a certain celebrity?”.  I VERY hesitantly answered “nooooo . . . why?  Who were you thinking of?” all the while holding my breathe.  Because maybe I don’t want to look like the person she’s suggesting.  Maybe I wouldn’t be happy being compared to, oh, I don’t know;

Sandra Bernhard?

Or Courtney Love?

Or Rosie O’Donnell?

But she answered “you remind me of (get ready for this . . .) Meg Ryan.”

Meg Ryan???  Really???  I have NEVER heard that before.  Not that I wouldn’t be proud to be compared to Meg Ryan, don’t get me wrong.  But honestly.  Aside from the bit of blonde we both have in our hair, I really don’t see the resemblance.  Sure, we both have two eyes, a nose and a mouth.  And in these particular shots, we both have bangs.  But that’s pretty much where it stops.

(She’s the one of the left in case you’re wondering.)

Yes, I know the delightful young Mac Cosmetics girl and I were engaged in a sales transaction.  And perhaps she was trying to get her numbers up.  Or maybe they’re experiencing an inventory surge in blush and were under strict orders from upper Management to sell as much blush as humanly possible that day.  And perhaps the Mac Cosmetics Sales Training material teaches delightful young salesgirls that comparing middle-aged mothers to successful Hollywood celebrities is a sure fire way to sell blush.  Not sure.

But I did buy the blush.