Submitted for your consideration . . .

You have a real life BFF.  She’s the Admin Assistant for a very prominent Doctor.  A Doctor of Plastic Surgery.  At a leading Canadian hospital.  Who, from time to time, holds training sessions on various techniques for other Doctors who are looking to learning said techniques.

These training sessions often require a “Patient”.  Someone who will allow said technique to be administered to them for such training purposes.

These “Patients” could be considered Saints with very giving hearts that like to help others.  Or just really lucky people.

Anybitches . . . just such a training session came up this week.  It was for Botox injections (which, here in Canada, can only be administered by a Doctor, in a Doctor’s office.  No “Botox Parties” for us).  As I had previously instructed my BFF to place me at the top of the potential training patient list, I received this call;

Elle:  Hey – you want some free Botox?

Me:  WHAT!?

Elle:  Answer the question.

Me:  As in – you’re going to steal some from work and inject me at your house? Ah, no thanks.

Elle:  NO!  He’s doing another training session and needs a Patient.

Me:  Seriously?  Is it free?  Will I have to wear one of those horrible backless hospital gowns in front of a bunch of people?

Elle:  NO!  I mean “no” to the backless gown, but yes – it would be free.

Me:  hmmmm . . .

So my Bloggies, here’s where you come in.

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Submit your vote.  You have my destiny in your hands.

I’ll let you know what I decide in a few days . . . gulp.

Have you ever wanted to get Botox?  And if you’ve had it before, was it a good or bad experience?  Would you do it again?

The other day my girl Jules over at Life On A Hanger made me my very own doodle.  How cool is this?!?!

Thanks Jules – I love it!

I struggle at drawing stickman (seriously), so I find swirly fancy doodles VERY impressive.

May I present . . . Exhibit A

This is a drawing I did of Jules. Yes, I realize it looks like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.  But she has privacy issues and never shows her beautiful face, which is why I drew her facing backwards.  And of course she’s holding a hanger, because her blog is “Life On A Hanger”.  Get it?

I acknowledge that I’m artistically challenged.  It’s just one of my many shortcomings.

But now the question is – how do I best utilize my personalized doodle from Jules???  Of course I just knew that my very clever Bloggies would have some ingenious ideas.

So far, I’ve already considered;

• a tattoo
• pillow cover
• t-shirt
• vehicle wrap
• custom wallpaper

C’mon kids – what else could I do with my cool “The Only Girl” doodle???

Apparently Ree Drummond, aka The Pioneer Woman, considers herself my best friend.  No, really.  She does.  I mean, I blog and she blogs, but that’s kind of where our relationship ends.  Perhaps I’ve mislead her.  I think it all started when I sent her this letter last month . . .

Dear Ree,

Enclosed, please find 2 of your fab cookbooks.  One is mine, and the other is my BFF, Elle’s.  I gave it to her for Christmas.  She claims it was the best gift she received.  And I believe her because I do give great gifts.

We’ve both been big PW readers for awhile now and were so excited when you announced the launch of your cookbook and the book tour!  Yay – we would finally get to meet you face to face!  After reading you for so long, and feeling like we totally and completely kinda know you, this was a very exciting prospect.

But then we read through the list of cities you would be visiting.  Shock!  Horrors!  Not only was our beloved city excluded, so was our country!  Surely to God you have many loyal readers and fans up here in Canada!  Let’s take the Calgary Stampede for example – that place is CRAWLING with cowboys.  Surely they’d ALL want their wives to have a copy of your book.

But alas, it was not meant to be.  Calgary was not on the list, and nor was our beloved Toronto.

But we will not let that deter us.  No.  We will continue to read, to enjoy and to admire our PW.  And in the meantime, we really hope you’re still doing the “book signing by mail” option.  Otherwise we’ve waste time and postage sending you our books.  And you can probably get one for free whenever you want.  I imagine you probably have a whole case of them in your house right now.  In case someone comes by the door.  You seem like you’d be really generous like that.

Anywhoo – we’re lost without our cookbooks and our families will not be eating until they are returned.  We hope that inspires you to sign and re-mail quickly.  But not too quickly – I’d be really annoyed if you rushed things and spelled my name wrong.

We’d be most appreciative if you could make one out to Elle and the one with all the post-it flags to Cher.  Please don’t remove any of the post-it flags.  Those are all the recipes I didn’t like – ha!  Just kidding.  Those are the ones I’m dying to try for my house of annoyingly picky boys loving family.

Many thanks – for the great website, for the awesome cookbook, and for the signings.

Much admiration,

Cher

And a couple weeks later, our cookbooks showed up in my mailbox.  Here’s mine;

See?  “from your BFF“.  And a heart.

Sorry Elle.  I think you’ve been replaced.

And if any of you also have one of The Pioneer Woman’s books signed in a very similar manner, please keep it to yourself.  I don’t want to ruin my fantasy.

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Be sure to enter yesterday’s Olympic Prize Pack give away.  Deadline is today (Tuesday) at noon Eastern time.

My BFF Elle and I went to the Spa this weekend.  A very high class spa in a very high class hotel in downtown Toronto.  No, this is not a regular occurrence for us.  This was a special event we had planned for several months.

And it was awesome!  A hot stone massage followed by a DE-lish spa lunch, then topped off with a facial.  Not to mention spending the day with your Bestie.  Bliss I tell you!  We decided that this is exactly what we would do every week as soon as one of us wins big in the lottery.  But of course we’d take a limo to and from instead of public transit.

I do, however, have a few things I need to get off my chest;

• To the Canadian TV show actress we shared the change room with – you’re not that great.  Get over yourself.

• To the naked woman in the hot tub – please bring a bathing suit next time.  Glad you’re comfortable with your body, but we weren’t.

• To the self admitted make-up artist I shared the bathroom mirror with – a) it was very intimidating to awkwardly apply my sad make up collection in front of you and b) if you’re a make-up artist, can’t you make yourself look better?

• To the gentleman who’s sole job was to tidy and straighten up after each guest as they moved about the spa – please marry me.  I have never met anyone as anal as me before and I find your homosexuality charming.  We were meant to be.

• To the gentlemen in the spa bath robes that were clearly having a business lunch meeting with a lady also in a bath robe – a) really odd place to hold a meeting  b) presumably you were naked under those spa bath robes . . . at a business meeting (creepy!) and c) why did the salesman from Gucci across the street show up to deliver a pair of beautifully boxed and bagged Gucci shoes to each of you?  Exactly who are you and why are you important enough to get free shoes while you have lunch in a robe?  We tried to eavesdrop on your conversation, but couldn’t figure it out.  Can Elle & I be your friends?

• To the 2 women sitting at the table behind us at lunch – sorry the “one size fits all” spa bath robe wasn’t large enough for you, but can you please stop talking so we can eavesdrop on the Gucci guys and figure out who the heck they are!  Sheesh!

• To the man sitting behind us on the 45 minute ride home -  did you not think of your fellow commuters before you decided to bring your stinky take-out dinner on the train?  Thanks for making me nauseous.

May I add that these people in no way ruined my spa experience.  Nothing could have.

Same again next week Elle?

I met an old friend for lunch the other week.  Well, she’s isn’t actually “old”.  She’s the same age as me.  But I’ve known her since Elementary school – which was never-you-mind-how-many years ago.  We were in many classes together, used to hang out after school, and attended each others sleep-over parties and such.  We bumped into each and decided to catch up over lunch.  And it was a lovely!  And she’s exactly the same.  Same looks.  Same mannerisms.  Same laugh.  It was so weird – but in a good way.

But it just confirmed what I had already suspected . . . I have a REALLY bad memory for the past.  So bad in fact that I’ve often wondered if I’ve sustained some type of head injury that may have resulted in selective amnesia.  Or maybe I experienced a traumatic event and had to block out a chunk of my past.  Neither of which has actually happened I’m certain, but that’s what it feels like.

In fact, not so long ago, I had this conversation with another friend:

her:  hey remember Joe?

me:   no

her:  you know – Joe Blow? (clearly not his real name)

me:  no

her:  you dated him?

me:  I did?  For very long?

her:  no – nothing major.  I think you went for dinner a couple of times.

me:  I have no idea who you’re talking about.

This kinda thing happens all the time when friends bring up past events.  It’s like I wasn’t even there.  The same thing happened when I was out for lunch with my old friend.  Turns out she has a younger brother.  Which I had absolutely no recollection of.  And she mentioned teachers and other friends that I again, I could not remember.  Is it just me?

Anyway, I’d better go check the stove – I might have left something on it.

And now we move on to the U2 concert part of “The Only Girl’s Big Day” . . .

If you’ve read any of the reviews, you’ll know by now that it was freaking awesome!  That enormous stage was UN-believable.  Their performance was outstanding.  The music was spectacular.  And he’s just so handsome.

I enjoyed every moment.  From singing and clapping and dancing, to just trying to look around and take it all in.  Yes it was expensive, but I say it was worth it.  No regrets here my friends!

And although Cherry was probably a little sad that she wasn’t at the front of the stage with her friends that had lined up with their General Admission tickets – for the previous 24 hours might I add !!! – I think she did enjoy the different view point and was able to take in all the effects that you wouldn’t otherwise see when you’re right at the very front.  And I really enjoyed experiencing it with her (thanks again Cherry!).

Here’s a couple pics . . .

The big honkin’ stage before they turned the lights off.  I mean honestly – look at that thing!

The big honkin’ stage all lit up.  We were 30 rows from the field by the way.

The Man himself.

And when it was all over (just past 11:00pm), Cherry and I immediately left the stadium, and headed around the side of it to Gate 15, where I dropped her off with her friends for the night.  Because she joined the General Admission line up that had already started to form for the next night’s concert!!!!  Can you believe that?!?!?!  She was lucky number 37 and seemed quite happy about it.  So once she had secured her position, and had her number marked on her hand, off she went to her car.  To get a warm sleeping bag and some supplies to get her through the long chilly night that lay ahead.

I, on the other hand, headed off to the train station to make my way home.  To my comfortable warm bed in my comfortable warm house where there was plenty of food, running water and flushing toilets.  Which was a good thing, because somewhere between the stadium and the hour long train ride home I contracted a nasty stomach bug . . . oh my God – I hope I didn’t pass it on to Maureen Holloway!

Sigh.  What can I possibly say?   What words can I possibly use to give my experience the justice it deserves?  I know you were all expecting a delightfully witty post about my big day, but you’re simply not going to get it.  Why?  Because I’m at a loss for words.  And I’m exhausted.  No really.  EXHAUSTED!  That was a big,  long day I had.  It was exciting and I was up late and I don’t do well on minimal sleep.  And then, to make matters worse, on the way home (sometime around 1am) a stomach bug got a hold of me.  But I’m on the road to recovery and wanted to share a few details with you.

Yes.  Yes I DID meet the lovely, the gracious, the hilarious, the kind and the stunningly beautiful Maureen Holloway (oh, and her lovely husband by-the-by).  She was delightful.  And yes, you could say that in some capacity, we are in fact, now friends.  But how can I possibly describe our meeting?  Yes, I was nervous and, oddly enough, at a loss for words.  Which is rare for me.  I tried very hard to be cool and polite, but inside I was thrilled.  Thrilled to meet her and thrilled that she was even lovelier than I had thought.  Because I would have been really disappointed if she had turned out to be a whiny nasty bitch.

Although words fail me to adequately describe Part One of “The Only Girl’s Big Day” perhaps I’ll just share a few pictures with you instead.

Here we are only moments after first meeting . . . when she used the words, AND I QUOTE “your blog is fantastic”.  Yes, that’s what she said!  Doesn’t matter if she meant it or not – she said it.  And on camera.  Because my friend video taped our meeting.  I know, I know.  Crazy and sad all at the same time, but I knew that I would be too nervous to remember any of our conversation.  But now I have repeatedly listened can choose to listen to her kind words over and over and over again.  Whenever I want.  And I must say here, that the only person that was happier than me at this moment was my dear friend Elle.  Who was so chuffed for me that she was practically beside herself.  She was giddy!  That’s when you know you have a true friend – when they are just so excited to watch you have your moment, that it actually becomes their moment too.

So here we are! (no – her hand isn’t made from alabaster.  Nor is there something wrong with it.  She was simply wearing gloves for sanitary reasons because she was going to flip some of the lunch burgers.  So stop looking at my friend’s weird hand.  It’s perfectly normal and manicured under that glove.  Please concentrate instead on how happy we look together.  And how warmly she’s embracing me.  And how she can totally pull off that pink & white breast cancer cowgirl hat!  My friend is so stylish)

And here she’s signing a Q107 poster that reads, AND I QUOTE “For Cher, My new best friend and blog colleague, Maureen Holloway”  Ha!  What do you think of that!

And for the record, I think she only signed two of those posters, and the other one was for Elle.  So there was definitely some special treatment there.

And here’s me with Mr. John Derringer (please note – again with the warm embrace)

And the rest of the Q107 morning radio show gang that I start every day with (left to right:  Bill Hayes, John Garbutt, John Derringer, Ryan Parker and of course my friend, the lovely Maureen)

And all joking aside, the event itself was a success.  Tons of people came out to support the Women’s College Hospital Breast Centre.  I think everyone had fun and lots of money was raised.  Which was what it was really all about.  Allowing a lot of really great people to continue doing some really awesome work.

And on a private note . . . Mo – I’d definitely go with the silver shoes.

So as you know from yesterday’s post, I’m meeting Maureen Holloway this afternoon, so be sure to check back on Thursday for a full report (oh – and check out who commented on yesterday’s post!  Gulp!).  But I’m also going to the U2 concert tonight.  Quite a big day for The Only Girl.  Because usually she doesn’t get out much.  But not today my friends!  Today she’s getting out – like a prisoner on parole day!

Now, I’m not a huge U2 fan.  Sure, I like them.  Who doesn’t.  I’m not even a big music-in-general fan.  Sure, I like the Top 10 stuff, and I do enjoy some Elvis (what? what??), but a big music fan I am not.  However, I am trying to see – at least one time each – the big, iconic types of singers/bands that come to town.  And to me, U2 falls into this category.  I mean, for the price of concert tickets these days, the band better be big and famous and have a whopper of a stage with a multitude of special effects.  Otherwise I’m just gonna take that ticket money and buy myself a week’s vacation down south instead.

Which brings me to how I came to snag myself a high priced U2 ticket.

You see, my good friend Cherry is a concert junkie.  No really.  I’ve never known anyone to attend as many concerts as she has.  Ever.  I think it’s kinda like her hobby.  And in particular, she is a big time U2 fan.  I mean BIG time.  On their current tour this year, she’s had tickets for shows in the following cities:

Amsterdam – 1 show (general admission)
Dublin – 3 shows (all general admission)
Toronto – 2 shows (1 boring seat with me, but then exciting general admission the night after)
Boston – 1 (general admission)
maybe Las Vegas – 1
maybe Vancouver – 1

Yes.  She’s a BIG TIME fan.  In fact, a picture of her in the crowd at the Dublin show was splashed all over the U.K. newspapers this summer.

So when U2 announced that they were coming to Toronto, and I thought “oh – big iconic band.  I should see them” I immediately thought of her.  “Cherry, please can I go with you and your U2 friends to the concert?”  I begged.  And she politely agreed.  And then I felt a little bad because I’ll probably be cramping her U2 style.  What with me being a U2 newbie and all.  And because she’ll be sitting in a boring seat with me rather than spending the night camping out under the stars in the General Admission line up with her U2 friends trying to get a spot as close to the front as possible.

But what better way for me to see a high price concert than with a super fan?!  So she kindly made me a CD of the concert song set which I’ve been “studying” in my car for the past two weeks so that I can get up to speed.

So “In the Name of Love” tonight I’m heading down to the concert that’s “Where the Streets Have No Name” on this “Beautiful Day” either “With or Without You” because “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” – but I’m hoping I’ll find it sometime before the encore.

And tonight’s the night.  Me, Bono and Cherry.  Woo Hoo!

Tomorrow I’m volunteering to help Elle with “The Longest Lunch“, a fund raising event she’s involved in that benefits the Women’s College Hospital Breast Centre (join us if you can!).  And the Host at this event will be none other than Maureen Holloway.  Maureen Holloway!  Yes, the one on Q107.  The one that hosts “The Last Word” on radio stations all across Canada.  The one that I love listening to every morning because she’s so gosh darn funny.  The one that also has a hilarious blog called “More Mo” that I’ve been reading every day for ages.  The one that is partially responsible for inspiring me to start my own blog.

And tomorrow I’ll be meeting her!  Live and in person.  Which Elle has done many times before.  And Elle says she’s simply delightful.  Which I had already figured.  But now I’m nervous.  What exactly do you say to someone you follow every day, and yet they have no idea that you even exist?  How do you not come across as a bit of a stalker?  Can I contain my excitement at meeting her?  Will she notice how nervous I am?  Will she think that’s strange?  Strange that a mature married woman has a non-sexual girl “crush” on her?

I hope not.  Because I’d be mortified!  Because in my  mind we will meet and instantly become good friends.  She’ll find me delightful.  And she’ll start sending me those annoying “because you’re my friend” email chain letters.  And she’ll want to hang out at the Mall with me.  And borrow my clothes.  And get pedicures together.  And she’ll want me to go to chick-flicks with her all the time.  And she’ll start texting me everyday.  And I’ll feel pressured.  And then she’ll get all “why aren’t you returning my calls?”  And I just don’t know if I’m ready for that . . .

A dear friend of mine is on vacation this week.  She’s headed to Vancouver, B.C. to visit her brother, her soon-to-be-sister in law, and most importantly, her 5 month old nephew.  Who she loves to bits.  And I have to say – I’m a little envious of her vacation plans.  Firstly, because she’s going to Vancouver, which in of itself, is a beautiful place to visit.  Secondly, because while she’s there, she gets to go wedding dress shopping with her soon-to-be-sister in law – and who wouldn’t love that?!?!  But mostly I’m envious because she gets to spend 3 days hanging out on a movie set!!!

You see, her nephew Jordan has been cast in a made-for-tv movie that will be filming while she’s there and his parents (and by association, his Aunt) will have to accompany him to the set.  Imagine her luck!  Now I understand the role he’s been cast for is that of a baby – okay, not a big stretch for his first role – and I’m sure that at 5 months old, he doesn’t have many lines to worry about.  I’m sure it’s all about looking cute.  Which he’s really good at.  Very good in fact.

But being a bit of a Hollywood aficionado myself, I’m insanely jealous.  I do pride myself in keeping current on the comings and goings of Hollywood.  The latest gossip.  The dirt.  And Vancouver is often referred to as “Hollywood North” because it’s such a popular filming location.  Which makes it the next best thing to Hollywood.  So I’m intrigued.  What exactly is it like to be on a movie set?  Is it just like they show in the movies or do they jazz it up for the big screen?

And what about the infamous “Kraft table” (the free table of goodies you can eat from all day long)?  Is it as good in life as they always make it sound?  Is it just sandwiches and cookies like at a coffee truck?  Do they cater in hot exotic dishes from the finest local restaurants?  Or is it really more like cafeteria food?  Of course I suppose that depends on the budget of the movie being filmed and the quality of the celebrities in it.

So I have given my friend the important mission of getting to the bottom of such questions.  She’s been instructed to take many pictures and report back to me immediately upon her return.  Because I must know everything.  Everything there is to know.