(via Google – yada yada yada)

I have always loved grammar. I know. Big Nerd. Whatever. But I have. And so does Willie. In fact he seems to think that he’s the King of Grammar around our house, but I strongly disagree. He should learn to use spell check more frequently before he makes such outrageous claims.

And since my mood as of late has been, how shall I say . . . unpleasant, I thought I would dust off my grammar skills for the sake of a blog post and give you all a little grammatical insight into the current state of The Only Girl.

Today’s lesson is about our friend, the ADJECTIVE. An adjective is;

• a word which acts to modify a noun (which you might remember is a person, place, thing, animal or abstract idea)
• a word used to describe nouns and/or give more information about a noun

Adjectives make your writing more interesting.  Here’s some examples;

The busy Mother felt stressed and overwhelmed.

(see how the word “busy” accurately describes the word “Mother”? Do you get that I am, in fact, said Mother?)

She had considered changing the name of her blog to “The Flabby Girl”.

(in this example, “flabby” perfectly describes the “girl” we may or may not be speaking about today)

Her pathetic wardrobe made her cry every morning.

(enough said)

She was desperate for a cute haircut.

(not just any “haircut”. A “cute” haircut. Which is hard to get, I can assure you)

Packing school snacks & lunches was the bane of her existence.

(sorry, that one is not an adjective example. It’s just something I felt you all needed to know)

Okay, I’m done.  Leave me some words that describe YOU today.  Or else I’ll do a lesson on nouns.  I mean it.  I will.  Don’t push me.

(I am  not really a Teacher.  This post was not meant to be educational but rather tongue in cheek.  If you feel I’ve inaccurately described adjectives and done a great disservice to the grammatical world, then may I suggest you forward a complaint to my PR Department at get.lost@youidiot.ca.  Thanks)

(no, those are NOT my shadows.  I don’t exercise.  Ever.  I found this on Google Images)

The other day, I stumbled upon this article.  It’s brief.  Don’t be afraid to click it.

Okay, fine, Miss Lazy.  I’ll save you the trouble!

Here’s the jist.  And I quote;

“repetitive mirthful laughter causes the body to react as though you’ve been engaging in moderate physical exercise.”

ah-ha!  I KNEW it!  All this blog surfing is finally going to pay off.  I read your funny stories, I laugh, I lose weight.  This, my friends, is a win-win situation.

Which must be why I continue to read your wonderfully funny blog posts everyday.

Even those days that I don’t write one myself.  Days that I’m just too darn busy to squeeze it in.  Days that I just don’t feel particularly funny or creative.  Days that I wonder why I even blog in the first place.  Days that I wonder how long I’ll continue to do it.  Days that I wonder if it’s just a waste of my time that could be better spent doing something else.  Days that I admit to myself that I’ll likely never get to met any of the awesome “friends” I’ve made in the cyber world – or get to Graceland for that matter.  Days that blogging feels a little more like work and a little less like enjoyment.

Just know that I read you everyday.  Sometimes I don’t even comment.  But I read.  And I laugh.

Because I need my daily exercise.  Badly.

Do you ever question your blogging?  Ever experienced a “dry spell” in your writing?  Do you hate exercise as much as I do?

In case you missed yesterday’s Office Tour craziness, we had FOUR new ones!  How cool is that?!  I did update yesterday’s post throughout the day, but in case you missed any, they are all listed in my previous post AND over on my sidebar.  I know of a few more good ones that are still to come, but if you haven’t joined in yet, we’d love to see yours.  ‘Cause we’re nosey.

Also, Jessalyn at Cape Code Awesome has done an Office Tour Follow Up today!  Apparently there were several unanswered questions from her original post that needed to be addressed, so she has kindly tied up some loose ends for us today.  As always, you don’t want to miss Jessalyn because she is indeed Awesome – with a capital “A”.

I’m also looking for a few more vlog questions.  No questions = no vlog.  It’s just that simple folks.  And frankly, after further consideration, I’m a tad scared of the whole thing anyway, so “no vlog” would suit me just fine.  I’m just saying.

(not really me – just a picture I found on Google)

(but I wish it was me because she’s cuddled up in bed and I’m . . . not)

What I will leave you with today is something a little more serious.  I am going to make myself a promise and I’m putting it out here on The Nets so that I can’t possibly pretend that I didn’t.

“I, Cher of The Only Girl, do hereby promise that I will wake up 15 minutes earlier in the mornings in an attempt to avoid the daily mad scramble that inevitably happens as I attempt to get the boys and myself out of the house on time every day.”

There!  I’ve said it.  Now I have to stick to it (don’t I?).

But here’s the problem . . . I’m not a morning person.  At all.  I really, really love sleep.  And I really, really love my bed.  Which is why I have 2 alarm clocks.  A clock radio beside my bed and a really annoying loud beepy one in the ensuite bathroom so that I actually have to get up OUT of the bed to turn it off.

But mainly I like to listen to the Hollywood Update that my radio station does every morning because I NEED to be in the know about all things celeb.  My life depends on it (right Surferwife?).  And I also like to listen to the top news stories and traffic report that immediately follows the Hollywood Update.  This is important and necessary information because I have a 45 minute drive into Toronto on a very busy highway and need to be in the loop on traffic issues because that will determine;

a)  do I get a coffee for the drive to work because I’ll be in the car for a really long time?

OR

b)  do I wait and buy a coffee from my little coffee place friend in my building’s lobby when I get to work?

Clearly these are important decisions that deserve educated answers.  Thus my lounging in bed to listen to the radio.

But no more!

I will get up 15 minutes earlier, BEFORE said Hollywood Update and news/traffic report.  I will have my shower, and then and only then, will I listen to these important things while continuing to get ready for work.

Won’t I?

Are you a morning person or do you scramble out the door every day too?  Got any good suggestions for me on how to wake up earlier?  Do you feel I might have had my fingers crossed when I made that promise?

Monday morning brings about another week at the office, which in turn brings us more Office Tours – and lots of them!

Be sure to stop over and see Beckles at Foresight Is So Often Blind.  She has some very unusual items under her desk and a creepy guy at her work.

Then head over to see Mimi at Living in France.  Her office kinda resembles her house, but don’t let that fool you.  There’s still plenty of work going on there.  And lots of fake fruit.

Next, go see my girl Meredith at (Flash Pasteurized).  She has one of the nicest offices we’ve seen so far and some major organizing skills.  Which I love and appreciate (OCD rules!)

Then go see Jade at Now that I’m no longer 25.  Her tour is of the Paris hotel room that doubled as her office last week when she got stuck there while on business, courtesy of the Iceland Volcano.  Could I be any more jealous???

(If you’re doing a tour, be sure to let me know so I can link to you, twitter it and add it to my sidebar.  You get to use the cool, new button and we get to be nosy.  I’d say that’s a win-win.)

Next, I’m pleased to announce that both the bunk bed refund cheque sitchy AND the new laptop purchase have been resolved!  woot woot!  May I introduce my sweet new blogoshere ride . . .

(photo via Future Shop)

No, it’s not a Mac.  I know – big sads for me.  It was purely a budgetary thing.

And finally, I’ve decided to bow to the pressure and hop on the vlog band wagon (Cath & Mom – a vlog is a blog post that you do via a video that I’ll put on my blog.  So that everyone can hear me talk and see how old boring I really am).

But first I have a few vlog stipulations;

1)  I’ll have to wait for a good hair day.  Obviously.  And there’s no knowing how long that could take.

2)  I need you to give me some questions, either in the comments or via email.  No questions = no vlog.  It’s just that simple.

3)  The only topic off-limits is hockey.  Because as much as my life is built around it, and I’m Canadian, I really know nothing about it.  And it’s very boring.  Very.

4)  My lawyer has advised that I can, in no way, promise that I won’t slip an unintentional “eh” in there.  That is 100% out of my control.

Perhaps you’ve often wondered “who is the REAL Only Girl?”  Is she the smiling, boa’d darling in her avatar?

Or is she really more like this . . .

And quite possibly related to them . . .

(Bob & Doug video here courtesy of You Tube)

. . . then you’ll leave me/send me some questions and get this vlog thing rolling.

(BTW, do non- Canadians know who Bob & Doug are, or is it just a Canadian thing?  I’d be interested to know)

I might be getting a new laptop.  In fact, I have been consumed the past few days with researching just such a purchase.  And by consumed, I mean CONSUMED.  As in hours spent on-line doing new laptop research.  Laptops invading my dreams.  Speaking to everyone I know who has ever used a laptop for their likes, dislikes, wish lists and must haves.

Because this is what The Only Girl does when she considers buy something new of significant value and importance.  I’m like a research machine.  Because I don’t think you can make a good buying decision unless you are completely educated about the item in question (need I remind you that this theory of mine also applies to ordering food at a restaurant).  Crazy?  Perhaps.  But I just can’t help myself.  It’s a sickness.

In the past 3 days of laptop research, I have spent countless hours;

• producing a list comparing all the models I’m interested in and their various features
• surfing The Net for laptop reviews
• combing the on-line stores for the best deals
• attempting to make sense of all the computer lingo these places use
• determine the difference between wireless cards, processors and operating systems

I have also sent my BFF Elle numerous emails inquiring about the new laptop she recently purchased.  I’m pretty sure she’s starting to get annoyed.

I have discussed with Willie the pros and cons of such a purchase.  A discussion he had zero interest in because he’s a “just go buy it” kind of guy and I was clearly annoying him with my in-depth analysis and psychological approach to the purchase.

I have attempted to rationalize the money that will be spent on said purchase, even though I actually do have the money.  Well, most of it.

Anyobsessive . . . still no decision.

What am I waiting for you ask?!

I have no idea.  I may have to conduct a little research into that as well.  See you in a few days.

Got any laptop likes, dislikes, wish lists or must have items for me?  Clearly the research is on-going.

I don’t get out much.

No really.

Between working full time, all my boy’s sports schedules, and maintaining the household stuff, there’s not much time left over.  Or energy for that matter.

So when I do go out – I take it very seriously.  And usually it’s for something to eat.  Sushi with Elle.  A nice steak dinner with Willie.  Or maybe a weekend lunch with my boys.

Which is why when I do go out to eat, it’s very important that I don’t ruin the rare event.  Of course I’m speaking here of none other than the dreaded “food ordering mistake”.

Oh – we’ve all done it.  You order something that you think will be really good, but then it comes to your table and it either looks gross or tastes worse.  And just like that – your whole eating experience is ruined.  And you’re disappointed.  And unfulfilled.  And maybe even still hungry.  And frankly, pissed that they’re making you paying for the crap.

Which is why I never place my food order without careful consideration.   Which drives Willie crazy because it always involves intense questioning of our Server.  But aren’t they the ones that know best?  Surely they must frequently eat where they work.  Or at least they know which menu items are the most popular and which are the dogs.

So I narrow down my choices to 2 or 3.  Then the interrogation begins.

• What’s YOUR favourite menu item?
• Which item is the most popular?

If one of their answers also happens to be one of my narrowed down choices – then it’s a no brainer – that’s the one I’m going with.  But if not, then I’ll continue on to my next line of questioning.

• Here’s the 3 I can’t decide between.  Which would you recommend?

Yes I know this probably drives the Servers crazy.  But I want assurance that I’m getting the best possible meal experience.  And I’m telling you – they always give me good advice.  Because they know the inside scoop.

And I’m rarely disappointed.

Do you do this or am I freakishly alone?  If you’ve ever been a Server, does this make you mental or do you like being asked for your opinion?

(P.S.  I just added another International Workspace Tour over on the right side!  Be sure to check out Cathy at Antsy Pants to see what a messy Interior Designer’s office looks like.  And don’t forget to send me yours.)

So I’ve been stalking this lady at work.  Rather UN-intentionally.

Perhaps I need to explain.

If you’ve read this you’d know a bit about where I work.  But basically, it’s an office complex that consists of 3 buildings with 18 floors in each building, that are joined by an indoor walkway.  There are a LOT of people that work in this complex.  Like many thousands.

And for the past month or so, EVERYWHERE I go, there she is!  The same woman.  Which might make you think that perhaps it is SHE that’s stalking ME.  But no.  I always notice her up ahead of me, which would put me behind her.  And I believe that is the Stalker’s position.

This disturbing trend is actually freaking me out a little.  Which has prompted me to ask myself several questions;

Why does this woman go everywhere that I do?

Why does she always get there first?

Am I meant to meet this woman for some reason?

Should I casually say “hello” and befriend her or not?

Why does she shop so much?

Can you be called a Stalker if you’re not doing it on purpose?

Do you think she blogs about “that odd girl at work that’s following me”?

Should I cut my hair short for the Spring/Summer season?  (I know it’s irrelevant to the subject at hand, but it’s a question I’ve been asking myself, damn it, so I put it on the list!)

Answers to any of the above will be gladly accepted and considered (and don’t forget to show me your office for the International Workspace Tour!)

As you know from yesterday’s post, I’m currently in office work overload.  And to reward you all for my recent a) crappy and sporadic post writing  and b) crappy blog visiting/commenting, I will share with you one of the most intimate things in my life.  My home away from home.  My sanctuary.  My “me time” spot.  No – not the bathroom . . . my office cubby.  The place where I spend 37.5 hours (give or take) a week.  Where I drop the cloak of “Mommy” and play the part of an office worker instead.  It’s generally a much less demanding role and they pay you to do it.

Amanda at It’s Blogworthy did an office tour the other week and I loved it.  So, with her permission, I’m totally copying borrowing her idea.

I work for a national telecommunications company in the department that does property management for all their cell site locations in several Provinces.  My job focuses on Lease Administration, so I ‘m on the computer all day.  I’ve been working for this company for a very long time.  Over 15 years.  It has changed hands a few times and grown dramatically since I started working there.  I’ve also had several very different positions along the way, which is probably why I haven’t gotten bored and left yet.  It is also where I met Willie – who also stills works here, although in a different building in a different part of town.

I drive about 40 minutes from the suburbs into the city to a complex that consist of 3 office towers with 18 stories each.  The buildings are all joined by an indoor walkway.  In the lobby/atrium there’s a coffee place, deli restaurant, Italian restaurant (my fav!) a convenience store, bank machine and a dry cleaners.  There’s also a shuttle bus that picks us lazy people up in the lobby and takes us on a 3-4 minute ride to the major shopping mall across the street.  Bad for the shopping habit, but great for getting errands done on your lunch hour.

Please – come in.  No, no, just leave your shoes on.  Mine’s the first one on the right.

First you’ll see my very cute and oh-so stylist coat, right beside 2 recent pics of my new niece.

Now if you’ll kindly turn around you’ll get the full view of what appears to be a messy desk, but in fact is actually very organized chaos.  I’ve taken the liberty of editing out some of the content of the papers on my wall because a) I don’t want corporate secrets to fall into the wrong hands b) I don’t want to loose my job c) my coworkers really don’t need a bunch of bloggers pulling crank calls on them and d) it’s all super boring stuff that you need not waste value blogging time trying to decipher.

But what you will notice is artwork from my boys, a few photos of same boys, a sweater that permanently resides on the back of my chair for those “chilly” mornings and some neatly lined up “sign here” sticky flags hanging from my shelf.  I’m not really collecting them, I just can’t bring myself to throw a perfectly good sticky flag in the garbage.  Hoarder in the making or environmentally conscious?  You decide.

Zooming in a little closer you will see the really important things . . . bottled water (which is refilled from the water cooler several times a day – all in the name of hydration), multi-vitamins (that a 10am automated appointment reminder tells me to take everyday, but that I often ignore), some hand sanitizer (needs no explanation) and some hand cream (which I rarely use and should probably be relegated to a drawer instead of being given prime desk space).

Let’s head into my top drawer, shall we?  Here we find a typical selection of pens, highlighters, bulldog clips and other general office supplies.  We also find two lip balms (LOVE the Aveeno one BTW) and for some reason . . . a collection of pennies.  Why?  Don’t know.

What you can’t see in the above picture is the very back of my drawer.  Where I hoard post it notes.  I don’t like to use them, I just like to collect them.  Particularly pretty coloured ones.  And right there – in front?  Most favourite pen EVER.  Which goes under lock and key every night just in case the Cleaners decided to get up to no good.

Which brings us to my favourite drawer . . . my SNACK drawer! (again with the hoarding – I’m sensing a theme)  I like to keep quick and reasonably healthy things at the ready.  It helps me fight off those demons that occasionally scream “go down to the lobby and buy a butter tart”.  No thanks Mr. Demon – I’ll just have that healthy and delicious Smartfood!

And there you have it folks!  My home away from home.

I’d love to see your workspace too.  In fact, I’ve started the “International Workspace Tour” in a box over at the right – so far there’s just Amanda and me.  If you do a tour, be sure to let me know so I can link up to you as well.  We’ll get to visit different places all over the globe without ever leaving our own desks and maybe find a potential new career along the way.

Would you/do you love or hate to work in a cubicle? Are you considering doing a workspace tour? Remember – workspaces aren’t just offices, they could be anywhere.  The more unusual your job is, the more interesting your workspace will be – especially if you’re Stripper.  Or an Astronaut.  Or you joined the Circus.

Things have exploded around here. Like a hail storm of crazy busy. I’m speaking of my full time job in particular. Which has always afforded me the luxury of being able to read all your fine blogs, and even write posts for mine “during my lunch hour”. But a recent tidal wave of actual work has flooded me out for the past 2 weeks, and will likely continue for at least 2 more.

I’ve considered speaking to my Boss about the unfairness of my own personal time being infringed upon during work hours, but Willie persuaded me against it.   So, as I struggle to keep up with the mountain of paper, files, month-end reports and license agreements that are taking over my life, I will leave you with a few brief items;

# 1 – I’m ecstatic to report that we have found a loving home for our stinky poopy asthma trigger guinea pig. I’ll be dropping him off today and entrusting him to the care of a 12 year old girl who is beside giddy to be adopting him. Good riddance bye little fella (note to self  – don’t get sucked into buying another pet for a very long time).

# 2 – I have finally managed to install the “Google Friend Connect” widget on my non-Blogspot site (it’s over on the right hand side about half way down).  This was no easy task and some sleep may or may not have been lost.  Super smart girlfriend and Angelina Jolie look-alike, Salt, helped me out and I’m forever grateful.  She’s presently my only friend.  See what you can do about that, will ya?  The first hundred people to join get absolutely nothing!  Cheers.

# 3 – In the theme of “embrace your demons” (and my current demons being intensely increased office work), I have planned a special tour for you tomorrow.  If you “join this site” on my fancy-pantsy new Friend Connect thingy (see point # 2) I will happily give you a tour of my office desk.  And I’m talking about a CANADIAN office desk here folks.  Bet you’ve never seen one of those before.

Ok.  See you tomorrow?

I think I’m getting old.  I don’t feel old, but I’ve started doing a very “old person” thing, which signifies that I must indeed be getting old.

No, I don’t constantly complain about my aches and pains.  But if anyone is interested . . . I have a neck thing that I could go into.

No, I don’t measure the wrinkles and crows feet.  Although a growing addiction to facial moisturizers is, in fact, becoming a problem.

No, I don’t eat at 5pm and go to bed by 8:30.  Although, lately, staying awake past 10:00 is proving to be a challenge.

No, I don’t go to Bingo every Friday night, but if I could find a willing partner . . . I’d love to try it.

No, I haven’t started buying shoes based on comfort instead of style.  Okay – that’s not entirely true.  They do have to look good AND be comfortable.

No, I don’t count grey hairs.  I find that blonde highlights do a good job of camouflaging them.

What I have started doing – is reading the Obituaries in our local paper.  And frankly, with great interest.  In fact, it’s the section I turn to first when I open the paper.

Strange?  Perhaps.

Sure, it’s a little morbid to be so interested in dead people.  But it can also be a fascinating learning opportunity.  I like to see what people in my age bracket are dying from so I know what to look out for.  Sometimes the ailment is stated up front, sometimes you have to use the obit clues and guess a little.  It’s kinda like a mystery of sorts.  I’m particularly interested in people under 45.  Its a little closer to home and less expected.

What I don’t understand is an obit that says “Ethel passed away unexpectedly at the age of 93.”  Really?  Unexpectedly?  She was 93 – surely you anticipated this could be coming.  Why are you so surprised?

And I have, on occasion, stumbled upon an obit of a casual acquaintance, the clerk at my grocery store, a relative of someone I know, or, quite sadly, a parent from my kid’s school.  People that I wouldn’t necessary have heard about first hand, but am interested to know about nonetheless.

In fact, I’ve considered writing my own obit in advance.  So that a) it will be a really good one and  b) to save my loved ones from the stress of it all when the time comes.

It might go something like this:

Cher, loving, incredibly patient wife to Willie and dedicated, super tolerant mother to The Youngest and The Eldest.  Leaves behind many relatives and friends who may, or may not, miss her dearly.  Cher loved sleep and hated sports and exercise.  She enjoyed blogging, going to the spa, coffee and eating.  She may have twittered nonsense, but at least she twittered.  She could often be found in the kitchen or the grocery store when all she really wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a good book.  Cher’s life will be celebrated with a party on her back deck where Elvis tunes and songs from the 80’s will be played and all-you-can-eat sushi will be served in her honour.  She has specifically requested that she be laid to rest in her pajamas.  It will be a closed casket because there’s no way anyone else will be able to style her hair properly.  Cher – forever a neat freak – has requested that nothing be placed in the coffin with her for her final journey.  This is her final attempt to “keep the place tidy”.

Do you read the Obits or am I just weird?  Have you ever considered writing your own?