This week the Husband is away on business – for 4 days and 3 nights.   A situation which propels me into reluctant, albeit temporary, single mom status for the week.  While preparing for said week, I decided to focus less on the cons, and more on the pros.  Which, of course, required a “Pros vs Cons” list.  Fortunately that happens to be one of my most favourite lists to make.  And I make a lot of lists.

This is what I came up with;

As there’s no clear winner, I’m going to just go ahead and call this one a “draw”.

Hurry home Honey!  We miss you already.

Do you love it or hate it when your significant other is out of town?  What’s the one thing you like to do the most when left on your own?

When your youngest falls in love with bunk beds, he will be relentless for about a year, until he breaks you down.  You can drag it out and use a potential bunk purchase as a disciplinary tool for awhile, but in the end, he will win.

Finding a bunk bed that’s;

-       Made from wood in a colour that would match the rest of his furniture
-       A twin bed over a double bed
-       Upper twin able to be removed when he gets older, thus leaving a normal looking headboard/bed
-       In our budget

is no small task, and involves hours and hours of store and internet shopping (which, fortunately, is what I do best).

Just because you order a bunk bed in “honey oak” from a local sleep shop doesn’t necessarily mean that it won’t show up in “cherry”.  Which I assure you is very, very different.  And if that should happen, and you refuse to accept said cherry bunk bed, your son will not like you very much for a few days.

A 6 year old’s tears can easily be soothed with ice cream and TV.

Just because you order a brand new, criteria meeting bunk off Craigslist, at a ridiculously low price does not necessarily mean that it might have “fallen off the back of a truck”.  But the fact that it’s delivered at 8pm, by one young guy, out of the back of his decrepit mini van just might.  And the fact that you pay in cash and he gives you no receipt may or may not confirm your theory.

A bunk bed takes approximately 2 evenings to assemble.

Willie and I totally rock at assembling furniture!  We have assembled numerous pieces of furniture and backyard equipment during our 14 years together and although that simple act has been known to be the catalyst to divorce for many couples, we excel at it and even enjoy it.  Seriously, we are at our married best when assembling furniture.  I’m the details person who combs over instructions and sets up the next step, while Willie is the man’s man who uses tools and strength to get the job done.  We work like a fine oiled machine, chatting and laughing all the while.  We’re thinking about starting our own furniture assembling business.

(half done bunk bed – please notice new & very cool outer space wall mural in background)

Just because you call and visit the original local sleep shop numerous times over numerous days doesn’t necessarily mean that you will easily get a refund for the original, incorrect cherry bunk.  And that you might have to shift into “persistent customer with some knowledge of the legal system that isn’t going to take no for an answer” mode in order to secure said refund.

That I now have a very, very happy 6 year old that is in love with his new bunk bed.  And that’s really all I wanted.

Got any experience with bunk beds?  Do you like assembling furniture?  Love the space wall mural or no?

(be sure to check out the newest International Workspace Tour over at Cape Cod Awesome on my sidebar, and be sure to send me yours!)

(image via Google)

So let’s say, for arguments sake, that you have a 9 year old boy.  And he’s a very good boy.  He’s generally polite and kind.  Perhaps more of a follower than a leader, but he always plays by life’s rules.  And other than the first 4 months of his life (which is a whole other post in itself), he’s never given you a minute of trouble.  He’s the apple of your eye and a true joy.

But let’s say, for arguments sake, that this wonderful son of yours is OBSESSED with sports.  Any and all sports.  Including but not limited to; hockey, soccer, volleyball, basketball, cross country running, bike riding and swimming.  In fact you’ve considered sending him to Surferwife for a little training because you’re convinced he’d kick ass in a triathlon if given the chance.

And, due to the recent warm weather, said son has also become OBSESSED with playing road hockey in front of your house.  With his friends, with his little brother’s friends, by himself . . . apparently any road hockey is good road hockey.  Whether it’s after school, after dinner or all weekend.  Road hockey, road hockey, road hockey.

Now let’s take this scenario a little further by suggesting that you’re his Mother.  And last night at bedtime you’re going through the school backpacks – removing uneaten snacks, a multitude of school notices and flyers, and checking his daily agenda.  In which you notice “Project Due” on today’s date.

Clearly, said project must be something they were working on in class, because no information had come home about it, nor had your son talked about a project, nor had your son worked on a project.  Perhaps the conversation would have gone something like this;

Mother: “So Hon, is your project all ready for tomorrow?”
Son:  “No”

Mother:  “No?  Why not?!”
Son:  “Because I was supposed to work on it at home.”

How do you think the rest of your evening would have gone?  Would it have included;

a)     A son’s sudden realization that he screwed up royally and would be getting in trouble from the Teacher and getting a “fail” on his project?

b)    Numerous tears shed by said son for about an hour before and after being tucked into bed for the night as this realization sank in?

c)     A Mother’s stomach in knots and a restless sleep trying to figure what would have possessed her good son to completely and blatantly ignore an important school assignment?

d)    A Mother wondering how her son figured he’d get away with it.

e)     All of the above

If you answered “e”, you would have been correct.

During a phone call with the Teacher this morning, I learned that this major project on pulleys and gears was assigned a couple of weeks ago.  That an in-depth form explaining the project was handed out for the kids to bring home (which never made it to our home).  That the kids themselves elected for it to be a “at home”  project instead of an “in class” project.  That the Teacher had conducted several in-class discussions about the project to make sure all the kids were on track.  All of which were clearly disregarded and ignored by the good son.

But that she’s a reasonable Teacher that has agreed to grant him a 1 week extension on said project.

So . . . guess who’s not going to be playing any road hockey for the next week?

Guess who’s not going to be getting that new goalie blocker his Dad was going to buy him?

Guess who’s going to be pulling her hair out for the next week while her son unhappily attempts to build a pulleys and gears project?

Guess who’s had her eye’s opened to the potential sneaky nature of her children?

Guess who’s very, very disappointed.

If you have kids, you’re likely familiar with the up-and-down bedtime tuck in.

This phenomenon occurs when you FINALLY tuck your kids into bed for the night.  You’re tired.  It’s late.  You’ve worked all day, driven home in the traffic, got dinner on the table, cleaned up the kitchen, gone through the backpacks, made the snacks/lunches and tidied up the house.

Once they’re in bed you know that the couch, your favourite TV show and some relaxing is finally going to take place.  You can taste it.

And then it starts . . .

First it’s the sound of little footsteps that lead from their upstairs bedroom to the staircase banister.  You try to ignore it, but they persist.

Next it’s the sound of a little voice.  Which comes up with new and inventive excuses all the time to explain why they’re out of bed.  After they’ve already been tucked in.  And it’s your time to be relaxing!  The excuses might included, but are not limited to;

• I can’t sleep
• I’m thirsty
• when are you coming to bed?
• I’m scared
• my brother won’t stop singing in bed and he’s keeping me awake
• my throat / belly / ankle / whatever hurts
• I need a band-aid
• I’m hot / I’m cold

Such excuses are used to lure a parent back upstairs to re-tuck.  But this is highly annoying to a parent that’s VERY intent on getting her relax on.  So I have grown immune to such excuses.

Till The Youngest came up with a new one last night.  I will relay the conversation exactly how it happened and then you will write the ending.  Because I had no idea how to respond.

The Youngest:  Mommy – I can’t sleep
Me:  Why not

The Youngest:  A booger fell in my eye and it really really hurts
Me:  What?  How did a booger get in your eye?

The Youngest:  I was pickin’ my nose while I was laying down and it fell off my finger and landed in my eye.
Me:  You have GOT to be kidding me with this!

The Youngest:  Can you come check my eye?
Me:  Sigh

Okay folks . . . what should I have done next?  Leave me what ya got in the comments.

From our family to yours . . . Happy Easter weekend!

I’m off for a 4 day weekend.  Me, my boys, and our newly acquired egg-family will be enjoying copious amount of turkey, and possibly some chocolate.  I might even get some yard work done and maybe even a little relaxing (fingers crossed!).

(look at the intense concentration on The Youngest’s face – he’s taking this task VERY seriously)

Enjoy your time with friends and family.  Be they eggs or not.

My Eldest likes to read.  And fortunately he’s at the age (9) where cracking open a book in bed and having a little read to himself before he goes to sleep is now a pleasure.  And I couldn’t be happier about that.  Don’t we all want our children to enjoy books?  To transport themselves to the magical world of imagination that they create for us?  To just be literate?  Of course we do.

So naturally I encourage it.  I let him have his bit of reading time in bed, even if it means he’s up a little past his bedtime.  I try to make our trips to Chapters to pick out a new book a fun outing for the two of us that serves to enhance his whole reading experience.  Anything to keep the book loving fires burning.

Here’s the last few books we’ve ended up with:

The target audience of such books is clearly young boys.  Young boys who appreciate potty humour more than life itself.  Young boys who will wet themselves with laughter just reading the titles.

Which is why I’ve decided to write some boys book titles.  Not the actual books themselves.  I’ll leave that to someone else that has a better handle on grammar, punctuation and imagination, but I’ve got a list of titles that they can start with;

• Poopy Pooperson Goes Camping
• The Killer Wedgie Comes to Town
• Bartholomew Can’t Stop Burping
• The Little Brother That Wouldn’t Go Away
• How To Drive Your Parents Crazy With A Balloon
• Stinky Stinkmiester and the Smelly Feet
• Bedhead Barney Looses His Brush
• King Messy and his Dirty Kingdom
• Detective Diarrhea and the case of the Plugged Potty
• What Can Boogers Stick To?

I promise you – these books will be literary gold to the young male demographic they serve to entertain.

You can bet your whoopee cushion on it.

Got any other titles for me?  Interested in purchasing the rights to one of mine?  Glad you don’t have young boys?

The other night Willie and I were laying in bed on our new fancy mattress (mattress story here and the conclusion here).  Willie likes to have a pillow under his TV flicker arm while watching telly in bed before we go to sleep.  Somehow we got onto the following discussion . . .

ME:  Isn’t this bed comfy?! (SO pleased with my selection!)

Willie:  Yeah, but I’d like to have more pillows in it.

ME:  More?  There’s already 5 in here! (she says slightly annoyed)

Willie:  Yeah . . . like surrounded by a sea of pillows (he says in a dreamy voice)

ME:  But then there would be no room for us.

Willie:  We could get another bed and add it to the end of this one so it would be really big! (starting to wonder if he’s kidding or serious – it could easily be either)

ME:  Actually, we could probably fit a total of 4 beds in here and make one giant bed out of the whole room.  Like – wall to wall beds. (edging him on)

Wilie:  Yeah – then it would actually be a “Bed Room”! (his excitement at this whole idea increasing rapidly)

ME:  Then all four of us could sleep together in here because we would all have our own bed (like THAT would ever happen!)

Willie:  Yeah – and then we would get 4 TVs and hang them from the ceiling.  One above each person, so we could all watch whatever we wanted (he’s putting far too much thought into this)

ME:  But then each other’s shows would drown out the sound of your own show (trying to be the voice of reason)

Willie:  No – we’d each have ear buds! (he’s clearly annoyed with my thoughtlessness)

ME:  ahhhh.  maybe we could also get a fridge to hold our drinks and snacks (FISH ON!)

Willie:  Oh yeah!  Wait a minute . . . it’s never going to happen, is it? (sudden realization followed by intense disappointment)

ME:  Nope.

But it did sound like a cool idea, no?  What would you have in your “Dream Bedroom”?  Oh, and keep it clean will ya – my Mom reads this blog.

This winter has been very mild.  Which is odd and quite unexpected because I live in Ontario.  Part of “The Great White North”.  Apparently the USA received all our snow this winter and frankly, I hope you get it again next year.  No offense intended, but we’ve had our share over the years.  Your turn.

In fact we’ve barely had ANY snow this winter.  Cold temperatures, sure – hence our backyard ice rink – but not too much of the Devil’s Fluff.  In fact, the other day I noticed my daffodils starting to peep their heads up in my garden.  Unheard of this early in the year, I assure you  (love you Global Warming!).

But what the mild weather HAS brought is mud.  Dirty, yucky, messy mud.  Which is pretty much impossible for boys to stay away from.  When there’s no snow balls to throw, apparently you use mud instead.  When there’s no snow to walk through, you walk through mud instead.  Even if your Mother threatens you within an inch of your life every morning to “STAY OUT OF THE MUD”.  But they don’t listen, do they?!  Noooooooo.

So I’ve just washed their winter coats and gloves AGAIN.  For the THIRD time in as many weeks.  Fortunately their boots can just be hosed off.  But honestly boys – STAY OUT OF THE MUD – or I’m going to stop cleaning your stuff and you’re just going to have to go to school looking like this.

(source: Google Images)

Would you rather have snow or mud?  Would you bother cleaning their coats and gloves every week or just let them be muddy?  Would you like to live somewhere tropical where it’s gorgeous weather 12 months a year or do you like the changing seasons?   Can I send you one of my Mud Monsters?

Clearly there’s something wrong with me.  With my taste buds to be more specific.

It would seem that I taste things very differently from the rest of my family.

For instance, tonight I made Pioneer Woman’s “Chicken Spaghetti” from her fab cookbook.  And what’s not to like about it?  Chicken?  Spaghetti?  A creamy cheesy sauce?  It’s all delish.  I LOVED it!

And yet, the boys didn’t.

This is the way almost every new dish I try ends up.  Which really puts me off trying new things.  And which is why we only have about 10 meals in the weekday rotation.  10 meals that we keep eating over, and over, and over again (yawn).

How can I like so many things that they don’t?  Is it my taste buds?  It can’t be theirs because there’s always 3 of them saying “no likey” and only 1 of me saying “yummy”.

I’m obviously the problem.  My tongue is broken and requires immediate replacement.  I’m saving up for a transplant.  Know any good surgeons?

Does your family like to try new things?  Which tactic should I try on mine next time – Bribery?  Violence?  Tears?

Sometimes life just hands you a blog post – like yesterday morning for example.

And sometimes life teaches you to stop and appreciate the little things – like car doors that close for example.

It was a balmy -5C (23F).  The boys and I were in our usual rush to leave the house for the school drop off/drive to work.  They hopped into the car, buckled up and closed their doors.  Except the Youngest’s wouldn’t close.  At all.  No way – no how.  WTH?!?!  Out I get to investigate.  It appears that the female part of the door closing apparatus is stuck in a “the door is already closed” position.  How that happened – I have NO idea.  It shut fine the night before when he got out of the car.

Now, I do consider myself reasonable handy.  I’m no stranger to a drill, hammer, level or screwdriver.  I can even perform basic maintenance tasks on my car if required.  In fact, when Willie and I met, I had my own toolbox of stuff that I actually used.  And if I’m being honest – I actually like doing that kind of stuff.

So I figured “I can fix this.  I’ll just use a key to reach in and flick the latch back into the “door is open” position, and away we’ll go”!

Nope.  That baby wasn’t moving.

“Perhaps I’m flicking it the wrong way” I surmised.  So around I go to The Eldest’s side of the car to check out his latch.  “Which position SHOULD it be in” I’m wondering?  “Do I flick it up or down” I’m asking myself?  I’ll just flick The Eldest’s and I’ll have all my questions answered!  I’m SO smart.  I’m SO handy.  I’m SUCH a catch.

Except after I flick The Eldest’s, it doesn’t want to flick back either.

So now we have;

a) 2 rear car doors that are stuck open
b) 2 children that are now late for school
c) a husband that is already at work and can’t help
d) a Blogger that has to get to work and is now INCREDIBLE pissed
e) one pair for frozen hands (which could really end my blogging career.  And I use the term “career” very loosely here)

So I call the Dealership.  The KIA Dealership I would like to add.

“Um – just use a screwdriver to flick the latch back” they suggest.  Having already tried to “flick”, I’m somewhat skeptical, but perhaps the key I was using just wasn’t the tool for the job.  So I go get a proper screwdriver.  Nope.  There’s no flicking to be had.  My frustration level is off the charts.  I could walk the kids to school, but how the hell am I going to navigate my 45 minute drive – on the highway no less – to work with 2 rear doors that keep flying open every time I take a corner?

“Buckle up boys!” I exclaim.  “And hold onto tightly to your doors!  We’re going for a little drive!”  And with that, we set off on the 5 minute drive to the Dealership.

And honestly, those boys couldn’t have thought I was any cooler.  Driving around town as they held their doors closed.  Yahoo-ing the entire time.  Like it was an amusement park ride.  Or their mother was a really cool stunt driver.

Anyway – the happy ending is that Kia took my car in right away and had both doors fixed in about 10 minutes.  At no charge (which is what you should do when you make really crappy cars – you make up for it with good, free service).  The boys got to school, albeit it a little late, and I made it to work unscathed.

I’ll never take doors that close for-granted again.

Let’s hope tomorrow morning goes a little better.  Shall we Kia?