The Only Girl » The Awesome 80′s

I’m Like Richard Simmons But I’m In The Garden

Cher — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:30:31 +0000

So remember when I stated on my “Meet Me” page that I typically post everyday, Monday to Friday? Well, I didn’t take into account that from time to time a full time job or a nasty stomach bug would keep me from my keyboard. But yesterday it did. And trust me – it was a much wiser choice for me to be in the bathroom than at the computer. But I’m back. And about 2 pounds lighter.

No further details will be shared.

You’re welcome.

Which is why I’m joining Meredith over at (Flash) Pasteurized in her weekly feature “Take Me Back Tuesday”, except that it happens to be on Wednesday. This is where we revisit a photo from back in the day. Today, of course, we’ll be revisiting a particularly curious photo of yours truly. And just so you know – I’ve managed to unearth some real beauties – we could be doing this every week for the rest of 2010.

This week we are going to visit a 16 year old Cher to see what she was up to. No, I will not be disclosing what year this is. Bloggers are notorious for their mad math skills, and I don’t need you all figuring how very old I am. Suffice it to say, I was 16 at some point during the 80′s. That might help explain a lot about this picture.

Let’s review this photo in detail, shall we? We’re going to start at the bottom and work our way up.

Let’s just get the elephant in the room out of the way – why was I wearing Richard Simmon’s satin striped shorts?!?!?! I have NO idea. Apparently they were in fashion at the time. I had several different colours. I don’t remember Richard being around in those days, so I can only assume that’s when he got his start and the shorts just stuck with him.
Why am I posing in the garden in the first place? I think it might have involved trying to get a good pic to send a long distance boyfriend at the time. Why else would anyone pose in the garden? And I’m not even sure this resulting picture can be categorized as good.
The blinding white legs? Yes, I’m fair, but I’m going to go ahead and blame this on bad lighting.
The crop top? I had a cute figure back then, and apparently, a nice set. I can only assume I was comfortable accentuating it. Not so much now.
And now we get to the hair. Ah, the hair. The only light I can shed on this style is that it was the Princess Di days, and I was crazy mad about her. The short feathered flip was my weak attempt at replicating her beauty. Clearly that’s where it stopped.
And finally, heavy on the eye make-up much??? I have no excuse. It was the 80′s.

Laugh at yourself and the world internet laughs with you. Go ahead, folks. Laugh. There’s plenty more where this came from.

Cheers!

Cher — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:00:29 +0000

And the answer to yesterday’s “who did I used to look like” post is . . .

None other than Shelley Long! That’s right – Miss Diane Chambers from the hit 80′s show “Cheers”.

Do you see any resemblance? Is it the hair? The fair complexion? The eyes? What? WHAT IS IT?!?! After all these years I still can’t figure it out! But 437 people who stopped me on the street back in 1987 can’t all be wrong – can they?

Some of yesterday’s guesses included:

Farrah Fawcett (really Belle? I am flattered, but maybe you should have your eyes checked)
Bea Arthur (dear husband . . . you’re so dead. You have till the end of the weekend to make it up to me – get started!)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (really Cath? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I think that’s a bit of a stretch)
Cheryl Ladd (hmmm . . . actually Lori, that’s not a bad guess)
and several (again, I’m puzzled) Shelley Long guesses

But the winner is actually Elle, who was the first to guess correctly at 9:34 am. Well done! If you actually want the guinea pig or the autographed picture of me, just email me your mailing address. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll completely understand.

I would, however, be remiss if I didn’t discuss a few items of concern surrounding this picture.

Item #1 – what’s with the bangs? I remember that I took great pains to get them feathered back and up in that particular puff-ball, but I don’t know why. It’s clearly not a good look and the slightest hint of rain or humidity and, well, bang disaster.

Item #2 – what young woman in her very early 20′s wears a blazer and a string of pearls? Again, I have no response. I don’t know what I was thinking. In fact I’m pretty sure I let my room-mate help select my wardrobe for this picture, and she actually had really good taste. So all I can think of is that she was trying to sabotage me.

Item #3 – what’s up with the serious face? Shouldn’t I have been smiling? I was in my early twenties, single and living with my best friend. I had a sweet little office job that paid the rent and then some. I had my own car and went out with my friends almost every night. Life was good. Really good. I should have been grinning from ear to ear. Or laughing hysterically. Or at least something other than this blank “deer caught in the headlights” stare.

Item #4 – why would I have sat for such a portrait when I was no longer in school and didn’t have to? Another very good question. Well I’ll tell you why. I had it taken for my parents. I had moved out (with their love and blessings) at this time in my life and was working full time and I suppose I wanted to give them a picture of the new “grown up” me. The “see Mom, you don’t have to worry about me at all. I managed to get myself up, wash and dressed and to this portrait appointment on time, so I must be doing just fine. And if you’re missing me you can just look at this very lovely picture” kind of portrait. From Sears. Because that’s where grown up, responsible girls in their early twenties get their portraits done. Apparently.

Hope you liked it Mom.

And Shelley Long, if you’re reading this, did you ever have someone tell you that you look like me?

Guess Who?

Cher — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:00:03 +0000

So Monday’s post about my supposed likeness to a certain Hollywood celeb got me remembering. There was a time in my early twenties when I was compared – repeatedly – to a particular celebrity. And when I say “repeatedly” I mean several times a week, for about a year or two.

And when I say “I was compared to” I mean I was actually stopped on the street by strangers. Or approached in bars (gasp! yes, I spent a fair bit of time in such establishments in my youth) in order to be told “Has anyone ever said that you look just like blank?” or “You know who you look like?” To the point that it became really annoying. At first I was pleased. Or amused. But by the end of the year I was just getting annoyed. Because a) it was never ending b) each smug person thought that they were the first to notice such similarities and c) this particular Hollywood celeb really wasn’t that good looking.

And so, dear readers, here’s you chance. Who do you think I look like? Leave me a comment with your guess (oh, and those people that actually knew me back in the day are disqualified. Because it was a well known fact who my look-alike was). But the rest of you are all fair game. Your comments won’t post till after midnight tonight Eastern time so that you can’t see what everyone else is guessing until the next day. Oh what fun!

No, there isn’t a prize. Just bragging rights. To being the winner of The Only Girl’s first ever contest. Or perhaps a full grown stinky lovable guinea pig? Or an 8″ x 10″ autographed glossy picture. Of me. Yeah, didn’t think so.

So come on – all you loyal commenters and lurkers alike. Give me your best shot. Who do you think I used to look like?

I’ll post the answer tomorrow along with an in-depth analysis of this picture, because obviously, some analysis needs to be done.

(hint: this picture was taking circa 1987 so it was someone known from back then)