This is a story about stuff.  My car and the stuff I carry back and forth from the house to the car, and from the car to the house everyday.  I always seem to have my hands full as I make that walk.  Nay – overflowing.  “Why?”  I  ask myself.  “Why am I always carrying so much stuff???”

So yesterday I decided to take to closer look of said “stuff” to see what was really going on in that car.  I present to you a list of items I carried from my car into my house as I arrived home from work last night;

• my lovely Golla laptop bag that contained: a laptop, an agenda book that is way too large (note to self – get a smaller one for 2011), and a few other small office related items (access card, zip drive, bills to be paid, etc).  Okay – this kinda stuff is all perfectly understandable.

•  reusable shopping bag that contained; 2 packs of boy sized boxer shorts, 2 packs of boy sized socks, 2 packs of boy sized “wife beater” undershirts, children’s allergy medicine and a box of snack sized Smart Food (yes, I understand lunch-hours are for eating, but I prefer to use mine for shopping).
• a 7″ Sankotu knife.  Don’t ask.  Also – don’t mess with me when I’m in my car.

• 3 hardcover books I intended to mail to my giveaway winner Mimi except the line up at the post office was about 20 people deep and I had lunch-hour shopping to do and only 1 hour to do it in (sorry Mimi – I’ll get those in the mail for you today).
• My purse.  And let’s not even get into what all I carry in there.  That would be a very long post in itself.
• reusable lunch bag that contained: the remnants of leftover chicken stirfry that I hoovered down at my desk before heading to the mall for my shopping excursion (frankly, I love me some leftovers, but this wasn’t verygood, if you’re asking).
• 3 days worth of mail.  I don’t know about you international people, but in my neighbourhood, the postman/person doesn’t deliver to each house.  Oh no!  That’s just too much work.  Instead we have the Canada Post SuperBox (or StupidBox or NotSoSuperBox) at the end of the street where everyone has to go, with their little key, and check their own private “lock box” every few days.

No wonder my hands were so full!  THAT is a lot of stuff!  WTH?! 

There are so many questions regarding this post - Am I alone or do you always have a handful too?  Do you like my laptop bag? Are you curious as to  why I bought my sons “wife beaters”?  Are you more concerned about the knife?  If your name is Mimi, are you pissed I haven’t mailed your books  yet?  Are you as sad about the crappy leftovers as I am?  Do you get mail delivered right to your house? 

Okay – pick a question and get answering.

First things first – I have yet to announce the winner of my Blog Birthday animal books contest.  The contest closed last Tuesday and my excuse is pure laziness.  But www.random.org and I did do the draw last night and the winner is . . . Mimi from Living in France!  Yay - I’m so glad another Mom of boys won!  Hope your guys enjoy them Mimi!

Secondly, I feel that I’ve been cheating on my blog lately.  That I’ve been giving more love and affection to Twitter and Google Reader than I’ve been giving to “The Only Girl”.  And I’m starting to feel guilty about it.  And also annoyed with myself. 

Here’s what happens – I intend to write a blog post, so I fire up my computer.  But before I start writing I figure I should check my email, then catch up on Twitter and my Reader.  And by the time that all happens, at least an hour has gone by and any quiet writing time I had has long since expired or I’m too tired.  So a post doesn’t get written. 

But isn’t the point of having a blog to WRITE POSTS?!  Yes.  Of course it is.  Then why am I getting sidetrack with all the other stuff?!  Because the other stuff is easier?  Because the other stuff doesn’t involve much thinking, only reading?  Probably.

But that’s not how I intended it to be when I started out.  So when my little blog celebrated it’s 1st birthday last week, I got to thinking about what I really want from it.  And the answer was not “all the other stuff”.  I want to connect with other people by writing and I want to enjoy doing it.  Some of my writing might be good, a lot of my writing will be bad, but writing is the whole point.

So that’s what I’m going to try to concentrate a little harder on.  Sure – I’ll still be on Twitter, just maybe not quite so much.  Of course I’ll still be reading all your posts, I’m just not going to worry if I get a few days behind in my Reader.  In fact on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays (the days I’ve committed to post each week) I’m not even going to open my Reader or Twitter until I’ve written a  post.  Or at least I’ll try really, really hard not to.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re ”cheating” on your blog or am I the only one with no willpower?  What’s your strategy for getting your posts written?

Here at “The Only Girl”, I typically aim to be either mildly entertaining or at the very least, moderately educational.  I’m hoping that today’s post will fall under the “moderately educational” heading.  And it’s important.  So listen closely my Dears . . . I’m about to give you a very big life lesson.

When your eldest son turns 10, and your family’s summer schedule is so busy that you are unable to schedule a birthday party with his friends until a month later, DO  NOT let him talk you into the following;

• Having 4 of his closest buddies over – 4 doesn’t sound like very many, but 10 year olds are big and they are loud.  Especially when they’re all in the same room or in the same car.  It’s really equivalent to having about 14 buddies over.

• Taking the 4 buddies (plus your own 2 boys and a husband) to the movies.  Because this means the count will be Males – 7 against You – 1.  Clearly out-numbered and clearly not fun for you.  Plus?  They eat a lot and will cost you a week’s pay at the concession stand.

• Having the 4 buddies back to your house for a swim, pizza and cake.  I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like once they all reach puberty and their voices change because even with voices like girls they are SO loud.  Think of jack-hammers and concert music.  This is the type of loud I’m speaking of.

• Allowing the 4 buddies to sleep over.  THIS was my big mistake.  Did you know that when 5 boys are in the same room together the loudness and silliness ratio increases exponentially?  AND the discussions are limited to sports, television shows, butts and farts?  AND the more boys that are in a room, the less likely they are to actually sleep?  I can confirm that no truer words have ever been spoken.

Also? 10 year old boys are attention whores.  They have a strong need to always be the centre of attention when in a room with their peers.  They will tell the same joke over and over again if it got a laugh the first time.  They will also use the same silly voice over and over again if it went over well the first time (I can’t tell you how many times I heard the word “semiiiii-circllllle!” and yet I still have no idea what they meant).  They will call someone’s name repeatedly and as loud as is necessary in order to get that person’s attention.  They will fight to the death to get the coveted seat beside the Birthday Boy.

Unfortunately for them, I don’t mind being the very tired bad person who just wants to get some sleep.  Which is why I had to go into their room repeatedly to threaten them with such statements as:

• Okay guys.  You need to settle it down now.  Everyone in their sleeping bags and quiet voices please.
• Guys!  Seriously.  If Willie has to come in here he’s not going to be happy (which was a total lie. Willie would never have gone in there.  but he’s their soccer coach so I thought that statement might carry some weight.  wrong.)
• Stop the pillow fight, turn the light back off and get in your sleeping bags!  It’s 1:00 in the morning!

I was planning to get some payback by waking them up early the next morning, but it seems they beat me to it.

Do you have any suggestions for a quiet party next year?

This weekend marked the 1st birthday of The Only Girl.  Well, not the THE girl (she’s clearly had significantly more birthdays) but rather the blog.  I started it last August because;

• I loved reading other people’s, so I thought I might also love writing one of my own
• I didn’t have any other hobbies
• it’s was inexpensive
• I could do it from the comfort of my own home (and in my pjs if I was so inclined)
• it didn’t take up too much time
• I have a REALLY bad memory and wanted to have a journal of stuff that happens in my life and knew I would never write in a journal

So when I signed up to self-host my own Wordpress site, I chose the 6 month subscription.  I figured I’d try it for that long and then re-evaluate.  Except that my hosting company threw in another 6 months at no charge.  Which brought me to 1 year.  Which brings me to today.  So today “Happy Birthday!” to my little blog.  It’s brought me much pleasure and many new friends.  I appreciate all of you that have stopped by to read the drivel I choose to write.  And since my subscription automatically renewed for another year while I was recently away on vacation, I guess you’re stuck with me for 12 more months.  Sorry about that.

So in order to celebrate, today I have a giveaway.  Some of you may remember this post.  Well, somehow, the publisher of the third book found it.  And they have been nice enough to provide me with 3 of their books to giveaway! (FYI – stay tuned for my future posts on BMW’s, large screen plasma TVs and vacation resorts . . . just in case any of those companies find me)

All three hardcover books are perfect for kids (the boy ones will find them particularly appealing).  They are written with a science slant to them in the vain of learning, while being really easy to understand, fun to read & entertaining.

Bug Butts is my favourite.  Because what better boy humour is there than the mere word “butt”.  It’s also beautifully illustrated with large colour pictures and talks about all the various kinds of bug butts (spraying, exploding, spinning, shooting . . . who knew?!) and it contains lots of interesting bug butt trivia.  For example – did you know that caterpillars can shoot their poop up to 40 times farther than the length of their bodies???  Talk about a party trick!

Animal Tongues describes different types of, well, animal tongues and what they can do with them.  It also has gorgeous full colour photos, contains trivia and some fun little “experiments” you can try.  Did you know that snakes don’t stick their tongue out through their mouth?  No, no.  It goes through a hole on the top of their mouth.  Like snakes weren’t already gross enough.  AND when it sheds the skin on its body it also sheds the skin ON ITS TONGUE.  Ugh.

Animal Baths is a beautifully illustrated book that details how different animals bathe.  My boys were particularly delighted to learn that turkey vultures clean their legs by squirting poop all over them.  I preferred to focus on the much cuter cat & bird bath processes.

If you have a young boy in your house, intend to eventually have one, or just know a young boy, these books are gold.  All 3 are currently available on Amazon for about $12 each, but today you can win them all right here – for free! 

Simply leave me a comment on this post and you’re entered!  There will be 1 winner for all 3 books.  Contest closes Tuesday August 24/10 at 9pm EST.  I’ll use www.random.org to select a winner.  Contest is open to everyone.  Good luck!

(I did receive 1 copy of each book for myself, but all the opinions are my own)

Comments are now closed.

Today I feel the need to clear up some confusion.  In my last post about my trip to Ottawa, I showed you this picture.

And I mentioned that during our visit, we enjoyed eating at that establishment a few times.

And then I received many horrified comments.  Here’s what some of you said;

• Beaver tails??? Really?
• beaver tails sounds just a little bit nasty. I’m just sayin…
• Beavertails…do I even want to know?
• I’m pretty sure I’m not the first, nor the last, to ask this…but what the hell is a beaver tail?
• Like, real beaver tails?

And so you’ve left me no option.  I must respond.  I feel I need to explain myself.

First, please take a look a the word directly below “Beaver Tails” on the sign.  Here – I’ll enlarge it for you . . .

See what it says there?  Pastry!  CANADIANS DO NOT EAT REAL BEAVER TAILS!  (well, I don’t think we do. at least no one I know does)

Honestly.  What do you people take us for?!

(never-mind.  don’t answer that)

As per my friend Wiki, a Beaver Tail is:

“fried dough pastries individually hand stretched to resemble a beaver’s tail.”

And they look like this.

And they’re fresh and warm and made as you order them.  And they come with many different toppings.  Like cinnamon sugar.  Or chocolate.  Or icing sugar.  Or chocolate & bananas.  You can pretty much put anything fattening on a Beaver Tail.  Because it’s already fattening.  Because it’s FRIED DOUGH!

And just for the record, I’ll say it very clearly . . . it is NOT a REAL beaver tail! 

But it IS mighty delicious!

Sheesh – must I teach you foreigners everything?!

(speaking which . . . if you come back on Monday, there will be a celebration of sorts AND I’ll be talking about baths, butts and tongues.  Although possibly not in that order.  But still.  Who would want to miss out on all that?)

Okay, who wants a Beaver Tail now?

I’m back!  It feels like I’ve been gone for ages.  Which is actually kinda true.  Out of the past 20 working days, I’ve been on vacation for 13 of them.  I’m living the life I tell you (my desk at work, however, will tell a different tale).

First I was away at a cottage, then my trip to Boston with Jessalyn & Surferwife, and today I’m fresh back from a trip to Ottawa, Ontario (the capital city of Canada – about a 4 hour drive from me).  Okay – not a very exciting location.  True.  We went there primarily for a soccer tournament, but stayed a few extra days to do the tourist thing.  I assure you it’s a beautiful city, and we had a good time.  And ate out a lot.  Which generally helps to determine my like or dislike of a vacation.  Having to do your own cooking all week is NOT a vacation in my books.

So, in order to apologize for my extended absence, I brought you back a few pictures. 

First, we have Parliament Hill.  This building is where our Prime Minister works his “magic” and runs the country.  It’s our version of The White House and it’s really old.  Like one or two hundred years old or something.  You’d think I’d know a little more precisely, but history was never one of my strong subjects.  I just like that it looks like a castle.  Because when you’re near a castle, you get to pretend you’re a Princess.  And then the other people you are with get to be treated like your servants.  And that’s fun.  For me.

Next we have a picture of a Mountie.  Contrary to popular belief, these fine gentleman do NOT roam the streets of Canada.  They’re really more ceremonial and are typically only found at special governmental events.  Which is why I was really excited to come across this guy. 

“Great!” I said.  “I can get a picture of me the boys with him!  I’m sure the bloggy world will find that amusing!” 

To which Willie said “We’ll do it on our way out.”

As you will notice, no one in my family is posing with this gentlemen.  That’s because he was gone when we came out.  You can blame that on Willie – just like I did.

Next, I will share with you a picture I insisted be taken for no one else’s pleasure but my own.  Because I intend to have it blown up, mounted, and hung on the Family Room wall as a constant reminder to the rest of my family.

Also, we ate lots of these.  It’s what us Canadians do.  Yes, you eat them.  And they’re deee LISH!  Google them.  Go ahead.

And finally, I leave you with this little gift.  It should more than make up for my extended absence.  This guy was a street performer, and I assure you, what you are about to see on top of his head is real.  I saw him several times.  I checked thoroughly.

You’re welcome.

What do you do when you’re a busy, stressed out, working mother who blogs and who really needs to recharge her batteries?

You make a last minute decision to join two of your favourite Bloggers on a 2.5 day adventurer to another city country and hop a plane from Toronto to Boston!

During this time you may or may not do the following;

• meet up with 2 almost total strangers but feel like you’re already good friends
• meet a 3rd favourite Blogger for a delightful patio dinner and FINALLY get to put a face with the name “Kate”

(Monique, Jessalyn, Kate and Yours Truly)

• spend a LOT of time driving in an SUV (and not even mind)
• walk the ENTIRE city of Boston – in one day
• eat mucho clam chowder
• experience “The Cheesecake Factory” and Fried Mac & Cheese in all it’s glory.  This could possibly replace butter tarts as my favourite treat if only it was readily available in Canada.
• visit the original “Cheers” – how cool is that?!  (if you have no idea what this is, then you’re too young to hang out with me - sorry)

• fear you’re being gunned down in a hail of bullets, only to find out its just a shit ton of fire crackers.  A fear that could only be calmed by a Sam Adams.

• attempt to find Paul Revere’s house.  On a back alley street.  In the dark.  Through a fence.  I think we got close enough to call it a success.
• take a nasty subway ride with a bunch of ridiculous people (please note: this statement does not refer to Jess nor Surferwife)
• spend 2 nights in a charming guest bedroom with a super comfy mattress at an adorable and welcoming Cape Cod home (thanks Jess!)
• meet the legend that is Manfriend!
• experience a “box” of coffee.  That’s take out coffee – in a box, people!
• see more Dunkin Donut locations than I ever thought possible
• witness SurferWife’s feet break their Atlantic Ocean cherry at Cahoon Hollow Beach

• drive to Provincetown, at the very tip of The Cape, and damn near die climbing the steps to the top of the Pilgrim Monument.  No – seriously.  All. Most. Died.

(look at how tall that thing is!  But this view was totally worth it)

• hear Heather McDonald and Chelsea Handler perform for the first time ever (my first time – clearly not theirs).  Oh, and go backstage to meet them afterwards.  Apparently this is a really big deal.  Jealous?

(I think Chelsea may have tried to pet my shoulder.  Not sure.  But I definitely got some of her pit sweat on my shirt)

(Heather will on The Tonight Show this Friday – Aug 6th - FYI)

• talk SurferWife down off the ledge of having her Chelsea chest signature tattooed.  No really.

• learn that the ENTIRE town of Hyannis closes down between 1am – 3am.  I’m talking gas stations.  7-Elevens.  Everything.  Where the heck is a hungry foreign girl supposed to get a drive-thru burger on the way home from a wicked good celeb filled night???

But best of all, you meet as 3 strangers but part ways as 3 friends.  Kate, Jess & Monique were as fun and lovely as I had assumed they’d be.  We crammed a lot into 2.5 days and I enjoyed every minute.

And that’s all you’re going to get from me.  You know what they say – “What happens on The Cape, stays on The Cape!”

Oh, and recharged Mommy batteries are only good for about 1 day.  Then real life comes rushing back.  Fortunately I’m heading off for vacation AGAIN this weekend.  I know.  I’m living the life.

If you could meet any Blogger, who would it be?  What city would you like to meet in?

SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Okay – just had to get that out of the way.

Why?  Because I’m really excited.  Nervous, yes.  But mainly, really excited.

What could possibly have The Only Girl so excited?

An adventure.  That’s what.

I’m composing this post on Thursday afternoon.  As I sit on an airplane.  BY MYSELF PEOPLE!  Because I’m en route to one hell of a Girl’s Weekend.

Where you may ask?

Hold on tight.  Are you ready for this one???

I’m flying from Toronto to Boston.  To meet these people, who just so happen to be a few of my most favourite Bloggers;

•  Monique from A Day in the Life of a Surferwife
• Jessalyn from Cape Code Awesome
• Kate from Then Again Kate

I know!

And on Saturday night we are going to see the show of this person;

(Chelsea Handler) 

Apparently she’s a famous comedian.  I’ve read about her on many of your blogs, but honestly?  We don’t get her show in Canada, so no one up here really knows who she is.  I’ve been YouTubing her like crazy this week in preparation, but am slightly afraid that I’m not quite up to speed.  AND we have backstage passes!

I KNOW!

No, us Bloggers have never met before.  Well, at least not outside of the safe confines of the Webz.  And yet we know so much about each other.  But meet we will.  Tonight.  Gulp.

Can I just tell you how nerve-racking the thought of meeting these girls in person has been?  Granted, I just decided to join this little weekend meet-up barely over 1 week ago.  A very last minute and impulsive decision for The Only Girl.  She’s is not good with such things.  She likes to plan.  A lot.  Allow me to peel back the curtains of my mind and let you in on what the past week has been like. 

• What was I thinking?
• How can I quickly lose 5 pounds?
• I change my mind!  I’m not going!
• These boys are driving me crazy – how many more days?
• What to pack . . . what to pack?
• Crap – I need to get a mani, pedi and hair cut before I go!
• What if I don’t like them?  What if they don’t like me?
• What if we sit in awkward silence most of the weekend?
• I’ll be one of the few people who actually gets to see what the elusive Kate looks like
• Can the boys be trusted by themselves?  Surely they know to have the house back in order before I arrive home, right? (note: this was a cryptic reminder meant solely for Willie. Hi Honey!  Miss you!)
• Chilling on The Cod – Jessalyn style!
•  I am physically unable to poop outside my home base.  This means no poop for 3 days.  If you should see pictures of me where I appear quite bloated or slightly pregnant, please know it’s the poop.
• Generally, I’m unable to stay awake past 11:30.  I am sure to be the party pooper.
• Oh – Margaritas with Surferwife!  Inventor of the Celebrity Encounter Margarita Barometer!  How cool will THAT be?!

As you can see, I’ve been riding the crazy horse of emotions.  But now it’s too late.  I’m on the plane and the meet-up is eminent.  Wish me luck.

Be sure to visit their blogs to see what they have to say!

So I’m back.  Did you even realize I was gone?  Nevermind.  Don’t answer that.

I was on vacation all week with my boys.  And it’s bittersweet that it has come to an end.  I’ll miss them terribly today as I enter my fluorescent cubby farm all by myself, but sometimes too much of a good thing is, well, enough.  It was a busy but fun week that included;

• a soccer tournament
• a pool party
• The Eldest’s 10th birthday.  TEN!  sigh . . . it seems like only yesterday that traumatic, emergency c-section took place.  Have I never mention that?  hmm.  Maybe some other time.
• a very special birthday party for my BFF (that I’ll tell you about in another post)
• 2.5 days at a friend’s cottage, which included campfires, a beach day, frog hunting & awesome sunsets

• an ear infection (for The Youngest) whilst at the cottage and away from civilization that had him crying and up many times in the night.  For 3 nights.  Heartbreaking really.  And detrimental to my precious sleep.  Which isn’t good for anybody.
• a 5 hour trip & wait at the hospital in cottage town for said ear infection.  FIVE HOURS!  For an EAR INFECTION!  I’m used to our fab local medical walk-in centre that gets you in and out in less than 30 minutes.
• a day trip to see some natural scenic caves, which I’ll admit, were very cool!

• one night’s stay at a hotel which included swimming, dinner out and an impromtu family Connect Four tournament.  Apparently I suck at Connect Four.
• a trip to our local medical walk-in centre once we got home from the cottage because the ear infection still hadn’t settled down.  And yes, we were in and out in less than 30 minutes.
• the Toronto FC vs. FC Dallas MLS soccer game.  Where it POURED rain the entire time.  No, our seats were not covered, thanks for asking.  Other than when I’m in the pool or the shower, I’ve never been so wet.  I’d like to think that my brave face covered up my very unhappy one.

Now, what you might notice from this vacation list is that a) we did a lot  b) we had a good time  c) we spent A LOT of time in the car and d) almost all activities were geared toward the male population of my house.

Which is why I also made a big decision last week.  An impulsive decision.  One that will help to re-balance the lack of girliness in my life.  One that will take me somewhere I’ve never been before and one that has left me feeling nervous all weekend.

It’s also one that I’m REALLY excited about!  I’m not quite ready to reveal it . . . yet.  But soon.  Very, very soon!

Hi.  You’ve reached Cher at The Only Girl.  I’m not home right now as I’m presently relaxing my stressed out ass up north, beside a lake, at a cottage.  No, that is not an invitation to try to find me.  I’d prefer to be left alone, albeit with my boys, to read for many hours each day, snack on a variety of  food all.day.long, enjoy a few cold ones and work on my tan.

I may also be itching numerous bug bites, picking roasted marshmallows of out short peoples hair, getting my butt kicked at Crazy 8’s or Connect Four, and refereeing daily arguments, but I prefer to focus on the positive.

I’ll be returning on July 26th.  I’m expecting the week will produce some blog fodder, so you may want to come back and find out how I survived.

Till then, I leave you with these pictures of my destination from last year.  I’m expecting it to look exactly the same.

Please leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I return.

Beep Beep Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . . . .